The Pursuit of Perfection

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: baby carrots, romaine with blood orange vinegar
Dinner: handful of cashews, spicy red lentil soup with normandy blend veggies

Exercise: 30 min treadmill, 30 min w/ Maya

Fuhrmometer Reading: Kale

Kale Days really aren’t that hard to achieve; I know I sound like quite the hypocrite saying that but it’s true. It really isn’t that hard to eat what you’re supposed to and to say no to the things you aren’t supposed to. It’s just a matter of being mindful of such things – perfection isn’t always an unattainable goal. I know that I can be perfect with making my scheduled workouts all week – so I’m sure that I can accomplish perfection in my eating habits.

I think that in a lot of instances perfection is all about pushing laziness, procrastination, and fear out of the picture and just doing it. I know that I can avoid the food that I shouldn’t be eating – but in the past few weeks I have become mentally lazy and I know that I can do better.

Many people in situations where weight loss (moreso a considerable amount of weight loss) is an aspiration believe that while they dream about weight loss it’s something that they will never achieve. They condemn themselves to a lifetime of unhappiness because they’ve tried and failed to lose weight in the past or they think that they have an addiction that they just can’t overcome. I just don’t believe that. I have dealt with being overweight since at least middle school (and I can remember times in elementary school when people made comments too), my mother and grandmother dealt with being overweight – and my father’s side of the family can be categorized as “big boned”, I’ve lost weight in the past and put it back on and then some, if I could I'd live on takeout and frozen food. I know that I have an emotional attachment to food and gravitate to it when I’ve had a tough day or want to celebrate or am just bored. I think that if there were a perfect profile of an overweight american who is predisposed to be this way it'd be me.

But really, I think that all of that is crap.

Losing weight is all about mentally committing to following whatever food plan one identifies with and finding a way to exercise – AND DOING THESE THINGS CONSISTENTLY. The reason I gained weight back in the past? I stopped working out; I stopped cooking for myself.. It wasn't genetics or an attachment to food; it was that I stopped trying and I stopped caring. I started caring when I hated my wedding dress and was stuck with it. I started caring when I couldn’t make it up the stairs without being seriously out of breath. I started caring when I had only a few pairs of pants that fit comfortably.

And this little plateau of late? It’s all because I got too far ahead of myself after hitting the -50 mark. I have got another 100+ to lose, so why was I celebrating? I got sloppy, I got lazy, I started procrastinating (I’ll get back to eating right tomorrow) and the only reason I didn’t gain in these past few weeks was that I’ve been working out. I’ve gotten to a place where I don’t have to talk myself into working out, I just do it. I need to get to that place with food. I know a prolonged string of Kale Days is the only way to get there. I am going start out by going for 10 in a row.

As my Grandpa wrote in an anniversary card to hubby and I: “1 down and 99 to go – they say the first 100 years are the hardest.” The same goes for Kale Days – 1 down and 9 to go.

What type of vegetarian are you?

Something fun for a rainy day...

You scored as vegan vixen. You're a vegan vixen! You use your good looks and body to encourage people to go veg. You're probably a little perky and a little adventurous. You may have tofu-wrestled, worn a lettuce bra, or are about to do one of the two! If you're a guy, consider yourself a virile vegan (vixen generally refers to women...). Though you may have feminist beliefs, it's fine to use sexual attraction to get people to stop eating animals. More on www.goveg.com vegan vixen 67% welfarist vegetarian 61% health-conscious vegetarian 45% militant vegan 45% quiet vegetarian 44% new veggie 22% lazy vegetarian 17% What type of vegetarian are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Is it accurate? I do still have dairy or eggs on occasion; so I can't rightly call myself a vegan although I do think that I eat much less of those things than an average Lacto/Ovo Veggie. Some day I hope to be a Vegan Vixen; but in reality I could care less about if other people eat meat or not. It would be nice to be a good example of a healthy, down to earth vegan/veggie. It does upset me when people thing that all vegetarians are militant animal rights activists or they believe all of the false nutritional information about veggies and vegans. BUT ANYWAY... this is just something fun that I thought I'd share.

Working on a KALE day today... more later!

momentum

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: salad, 2 mini-quiches, apple pie
Dinner: whole wheat toast, veggies with spicy sauce

Exercise: rest day

Fuhrmometer Reading: Potato

Well, I'd say that food wise today was better than yesterday; but overall it's not where I want to be. Who wants to be at 50% all of the time? I think that the rest of the week will be MUCH better. I know that I really need to work on my willpower; I just can't say no to some things. I think I am/have been sliding back into the Live to Eat mode rather than Eat to Live. I don't want my life and happiness to revolve around food. I know that there are other ways to feel pleasure and comfort but it's just so easy to get those things from food. I have noticed that I am enjoying ETL foods and there are some things that actually are comforting to me. It's not that I don't like ETL food - I do; I guess I just like other food too. I need to work on really being amused and occupied by other things besides food. I think that it will take time.

The other thing - and I'm not playing the blame game here; what goes into my mouth is all me - is that it's tough eating right when you share your living space with others. Just as I am an adult and get to decide what I eat and why; so is my hubby. It's not fair for me to say what can and can't be in the house just because I have trouble staying out of the stuff I don't want to be eating. It does make it tough sometimes though, but I know I can do better.

In happier news, I did have someone comment to me today that I look good; and that felt really nice. I can't wait until I've dropped another 55 pounds to see what people say! Hopefully I can light the fire again and they will start coming off with the same momentum that I had before.

stuck

Ugh.

No change again.

I know it's all because of my eating. These past few days that I've been MIA I have been working out but haven't been eating so well. I know that where I am and the fact that I've lost only 3.5 pounds in a month is all because of eating. It has got to change.

Yet it seems that every time I set myself a goal or make a pledge on my blog it doesn't seem to end up meaning anything to me. Well self... look at the scale, it's been too long since you've lost any weight and it's unacceptable.

Well; all I can do now is do better than I have in the past. We will see with time. The one thing I am NOT going to do is give up!

Today:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Wrap from HFS
Dinner: Spicy Red Lentil Soup with broccoli raab
After Dinner: potato chips, small cup of ice cream

Exercise: Rest Day

Fuhrmometer Reading: Potato

Yeah; I really sucked today. But I'm not really beating myself up over it. I know that tomorrow will be a better day and I will have lots of time to work out in my new and improved workout space -- hubby spent the afternoon re-arranging and cleaning the basement so that I have space to do my Yourself Fitness down there which is much nicer than jumping around up in the living room. I'll also be eating better.

We've all heard people say "It took me a long time to put this weight on and I'm not expecting it to come off overnight" (or something along those lines). So why if we're understanding that it does take time to lose weight and to form new good habits, such as working out, why can't this apply to food? I think I may be rationalizing a little bit here - but it does make sense.

Actually; I know how far I've come in the last 4 months. I was reading some of my older posts today and remembered how I was fixated on the next time I would be able to eat "normal" food or whatever I wanted to eat and that I wasn't really enjoying ETL food. Now, I have to say that I really do enjoy ETL food. I have no problems whatsoever with it being what I eat a vast majority of the time. I think with time it will get even easier to not eat/want "normal" food. I'm planning to Eat to Live for the rest of my life - so I think I have some time to get really good at it.

how i do it

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with blood orange vinegar; baby carrots
Dinner: Dr. F's Anti-Cancer Soup with broccoli raab; some apple

Exercise: 30 min w/Maya, 30 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: Kale (again!)

And no temptations today!

Today I was having a conversation with a co-worker about selling and being comfortable with sales. We agreed (and many others have pointed this out) that when you believe in the product you represent you are much more effective when selling it to others. I think that this idea applies to many other things; but especially weight loss.

If you believe in what you're doing... your weight loss program or eating lifestyle you're more likely to be successful with it. It all boils down to what makes sense to you and what you can buy into. I know that for me in the past I have tried Weight Watchers and counting points but it just didn't resonate with me. I had a bit of success a few years ago with losing weight by working out and counting points. But it just didn't resonate with me and I ended up gaining the weight back. Eat to Live makes sense to me. I believe in it. That's why it is the plan for me.

Another factor for success has got to be wanting it. I don't just mean wanting it like a new pair of shoes; I mean really wanting it, wanting it more than anything. I know that before I started on this "journey" I knew I needed to lose weight; I hated my body and knew I could do better and be healthier. I really did (and still do) want it more than anything.

The other two factors that have been crucial for me and will continue to be crucial for me have been planning and consistency. Planning and preparing all of my smoothie kits and dinners for the week ahead of time have been huge factors in helping me stick to the plan, especially after a long day. Consistency with working out - even when I'd really rather not - has been a big help. It also helps me to remember that I enjoy the feeling I get from exercise and that it really is an enjoyable thing.

One final thing that has really helped me - allowing myself rest days and some off plan meals. Knowing one doesn't have to be perfect all the time helps make being perfect the rest of the time really feel like something worthwhile.

Perfect Ten

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with blood orange vinegar, baby carrots
Dinner: Dr. Fuhrman's Anti-Cancer Soup with broccoli raab

Exercise: 45 min w/Maya, 15 min bike

Fuhrmometer: KALE!

It wasn't easy but I knew I could do it. The pretzels in the kitchen at work tempted me but I said no. An instructor waived some delicious smelling baked goods under my nose (not literally - but she did offer me some); and I graciously declined. My stiff and sore body begged me to take the day off from working out... but I knew that I needed to at least get moving - so I did. It wasn't a great workout but I got through it. It feels good to have a day where everything went as planned AND I didn't give in to urges to cheat or slack off.

Someone asked me today if I've been losing weight... I got all bashful and responded "a bit." I walked into my boss' office today and she just looked at me and made a comment about how much weight I'm losing and how every time she sees me I am smaller. I didn't really say anything. I've read other people's blogs where they have experienced the same thing - people in "real life" comment on their weight loss and they clam up about it or get weirded out. Why is this? We're obviously open to talking about it or else we wouldn't have blogs that anyone can read. It's strange, I just don't understand.

Well I guess that's all I have for today; I'll be back tomorrow with better stuff. G'night!

almost but not quite

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: small handful of cashews
Dinner: spicy red lentil soup with Normandy blend veggies (yellow summer squash, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots)

Exercise: 45 min w/Maya, 30 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: broccoli

If I had only had a real lunch I would have had a Kale Day! I was actually planning on taking the plunge and making a blended salad too but I just didn’t get hungry until what I thought was too late to have a large meal so I grabbed the cashews to tide me over until dinner time. Tomorrow I’m back to work so maybe I’ll be able to pull off a Kale Day then.

As promised here are pics and recipes for the two things I made last night/ today: Crock Pot Veggie Stock and Spicy Red Lentil Soup. Yum!

Crock Pot Veggie Stock

2 medium onions, quartered
2 large carrots, cut into 1 in chunks (or a bunch of baby carrots)
2 stalks celery, cut into 1 inch pieces
2-3 garlic cloves, unpeeled & crushed
1 small bunch Italian flat leaf parsley
2-3 bay leafs
½ tsp. black peppercorns or more if you like
8 – 10 C. water
Any other dried herbs you feel like adding (I like basil and rosemary)

1. Place all ingredients in your crock pot. Cover and cook on low overnight (8 - 10 hours or more).
2. Allow stock to cool a bit, and strain through a fine-meshed sieve into a pot or bowl, pressing the veggies against the sieve to release all the juices. Store in tightly covered containers for 3-5 days in the refrigerator or 3 months in the freezer. I like to freeze 2 cup portions so I know how much to take out when making a recipe.

I’ll be honest; I really don’t measure anything when I make this. I just toss everything in the crock pot and add water and let it go. I think this time I added 12 cups of water because that’s what looked right to me. I have a fairly big crock pot so I can get a lot of broth out of one batch. I got about 6 portions out of this batch.

I’m planning to use this the next time I make Blended Greens Soup or whenever else I have a recipe that calls for water or stock. It’s nice to have in the freezer for when you need it!


Spicy Red Lentil Soup
ETL-ized Version of Recipe from October 2006 issue of Vegetarian Times
6 (2 cup) servings

I’m posting this recipe the way I made it; I left out the salt and oil that the recipe calls for and didn’t use any Tamarind concentrate/paste. I also doubled the recipe as last time I made a soup from VT I didn’t get as many meal-sized servings out of it as I wanted.

1 lb red lentils
2 15 oz cans no-salt diced tomatoes
4 Tbs. grated fresh ginger
4-6 cloves garlic, minced
2 15 oz cans light & unsweetened coconut milk
2 Tbs. ground coriander
2 tsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. tumeric powder
2 small jalapeños, minced (seeded if you want less heat)
chopped cilantro to garnish (optional)

1. Bring lentils and 10 cups of water to a boil in a medium to large pot, simmer partially covered for 20 – 25 minutes; do not drain. If desired; blend lentils with whisk or blend in food processor.
2. While lentils are cooking purée tomatoes and ginger in a food processor or blender until smooth and set aside. Chop garlic and mince jalapeño.
3. Heat a large pot over medium heat. Add garlic and a few tablespoons of water and cook 30 seconds or until just golden; stirring often. Add tomato/ginger mixture, coconut milk, coriander, cumin, tumeric, and jalapeño. Simmer 15 minutes stirring occasionally.
4. Stir lentils into other ingredients and simmer partially uncovered, 20 minutes. Garnish with fresh cilantro when ready to serve.

Nicole’s Notes: At meal time; I add some frozen veggies to the soup and microwave them all together. The soup heats up as the veggies defrost and they don’t get too mushy. Adding the frozen veggies is a great way to get your cooked veggies along with the beans that the soup already supplies.

Although we don’t have to count calories on ETL; VT’s version of the recipe which includes oil and tamarind is 201 calories per 1 cup serving – seeing as how these are left out in this version I estimate that a 2 cup meal – sized serving is in the high 300’s. Add in the frozen veggies and you’ve got a great and filling dinner for 450 to 500 calories.

I realized as I was typing this up that when I made the soup I didn’t double the spices. It tastes ok the way it is; but I think would be even better if I had used the appropriate amount of spices (the correct amounts are above). I’ll make this one again.

week 17

today:
breakfast: smoothie
lunch: small handful of cashews
dinner: vegan burrito

exercise: 45 min w/ Maya, 30 min bike, 4 hours landscaping (it's tough work!)

Fuhrmometer Reading: eggplant


EEW! I didn't lose anything this week! Actually I am relieved; because I really thought I was going to gain this week. I had more than a few days where I had something off plan and a few days where I kind of slacked on my workouts and had 2 days where I didn't work out at all. I deserved this weigh in. I am happy that I didn't gain because it just sucks to have to lose the same pounds over and over again.

I know I have to stop cheating. But saying that is harder than doing it! Hubby came up with a great motivational tool for me that I think will help me get the ball rolling again. He is going to pay me $10 toward new clothes for every pound I lose between now and the end of the year... if I really get rolling again that could be a decent haul! What makes it even more exciting is that for every pound HE loses he gets to subtract that from my total and if he gains then I get an additional $10 for each pound he gains. It really is a brilliant idea because it gives us both great motivation to really work hard and get fit.

So I spent this beautiful fall afternoon slaving away working on the landscaping in the front of my house. WOW that was tough work. I had 3 evergreen shrubs that I dug up from the front and moved to the side of the garage. It was so tough... I even broke a shovel... snapped the handle in half! By the time I was done I was delirious and really really dirty... but talk about a full body workout, I could feel my legs and my abs and my arms all getting a really good workout and I was working fast enough that my heart got some excellent exercise as well. Hmm... I wonder how many calories I burned today.

I have tomorrow off from work and am planning on making Spicy Red Lentil Soup, I'm making some veggie stock in the crock pot right now. I'll post the recipes and pics tomorrow.
:-)

this is not a commercial (i swear)

Today:
breakfast: smoothie
lunch: romaine with blood orange vinegar, a couple sourdough pretzels
dinner: Dr. Fuhrman's Anti-Cancer Soup with broccoli raab; apple

exercise: 30 min with Maya (upper body), 30 min treadmill, 7.5 min bike

Fuhrmometer reading: eggplant


Remember how one of my October goals was to incorporate weight training into my workouts? Well I've got a way to do it that I know I can stick with. It's as simple as playing the Xbox.

When I read about Yourself! Fitness over on Bust My Size I thought it sounded like a great idea; a virtual personal trainer that would work you out based on your personal fitness profile and stats. I told hubby about it and he had an opportunity to buy a used Xbox relatively cheap so we got the "game" (it's also available for PlayStation and on the PC as well... as long as you can work out in front of your computer).

This thing is pretty cool! You create a profile by entering a bunch of your stats: resting heart rate; 65% max heartrate, lower body, core, and upper body strength as well as flexibility and Maya (the virtual personal trainer) suggests your workout goals etc. You set up which days you want to work out and for how long and you're off. Each day you workout Maya will suggest a workout focus (today mine was upper body) and ask you how you're feeling. She then taylors your workout to how you're doing. It's really cool.

Yourself! Fitness also has the option to use menu plans as part of the fitness program. I'm pretty sure that they wouldn't conform to ETL so I skipped this part. For someone who is looking for an all-in-one fitness and weight loss program it is a great feature.

I'm going to use the program 6x per week for 30 min and also use the treadmill or the bike to round out my workouts. I had tried doing weight training on my own but it just wasn't working for me. With this I've got something that I can stick to; don't have to think about which exercises I'm going to do and don't have to count reps!

blue men and my man

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch:1/2 my usual romaine with Blood Orange Vinegar, small piece of baklava
Dinner: ?

Exercise: rest day

Fuhrmometer Reading: Cashew/Brown Rice

Hubby won tickets from his work (have I ever said how much I love his work?) to go see Blue Man Group tonight so I'm checking in early. It's been an interesting day food wise - our lunch and meeting in Buffalo were cancelled which was nice because I wouldn't have to navigate a restaurant menu for a lunch selection and was happy to eat my romaine here in my office. Then my co-workers decided that we would go to this little restaurant around the corner that has some amazing desserts to celebrate my boss' birthday. I got so stressed out! I should have just stayed here but I really didn't want to be the party pooper so I went. I ended up getting baklava, which was way too sweet and buttery; it gave me a tummy ache and knocked the Fuhrmometer way down. Well, it's just one day and tomorrow will be better!

In other news, I love my husband. I guess it's not really news because everyone kind of expects that spouses love one another but mine is really awesome. He is so supportive of me and my efforts to become healthy and I really appreciate that. He has the perfect balance of being supportive when I need it and being a hard ass when I need it. I attribute my level of success with ETL to his support; without him I don't think I'd be barreling down the highway of weight loss as smoothly as I am. He really is my perfect compliment, he's outgoing when I am reserved, he's got an amazing talent and intelligence for all things technical and mechanical when I prefer reading and writing and art. We make a great team; he makes me laugh and he makes me think, and most importantly he makes me excited for our future and what we have yet to accomplish. I hope that everyone has someone in their life that does these things for them as well, it certainly makes the highs higher and the lows not as low.

Honey, I love you.

bye bye, tweed pants

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: HFS wrap
Dinner: Dr. F's Anti-Cancer Soup with broccoli raab; apple

Exercise: 30 bike, 15 treadmill

Puhrmometer: lentil

So this morning I decided that I was going to wear this fabulous pair of brown tweed pants that I have. It's October; and although it ended up being beautiful this afternoon (72 degrees!) I think it is now appropo to wear tweed, especially brown tweed.

I grabbed the pants, thinking that they would fit beautifully now since they were a bit too tight the last time I wore them (maybe in March?) not even remembering what size they were. Well they were WAY too big! This made me happy and sad at the same time as I was looking forward to wearing them; but am extatic that I can't wear them because they're too big on me.

Dressing yourself while you're losing weight is an interesting thing. It's great when your clothes first fit you better and you grab stuff out of the skinny closet. But there will come a time when the stuff that was once in the skinny closet is too big and you have to start buying new clothes. What then? Do you buy just a few pieces to get you to work looking decent or what? Do you buy them from the nice stores or do you go to the Old Navy's and other like stores of the world since you know you're not going to be wearing a particular size for long? Oh the dilemmas! ;-)

October Goals

Today:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with pomegranate balsamic
Snack: apple
Dinner: Dr. F's Anti-Cancer Soup with Broccoli, Cauliflower and Broccoli Rabe; apple

Exercise: 30 min bike, 15 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: broccoli!

Over at Dr. Fuhrman's website on the member forums there are what is called the monthly challenge. Those who wish to participate post their personal goals for the month and everyone provides support and accountability for everyone else. I tried to participate in July but never kept up with it. So for October I'm going to give it another go. Here are my goals for the month:

1. Keep posting here to stay accountable (same goes for the blog)
2. Work 2 hours of strength training in each week
3. No more than 2 off-plan meals this week and next, 1 per week for the rest of the month

October is a tough month! This week is my boss' birthday and I know we are going to take her out to lunch when we go to another campus for a meeting on Wednesday and we'll also have some sort of celebration here at our campus another day. I have no clue where we're going but hopefully can get a salad or something else very close to ETL. A week from Saturday is hubby & my first anniversary (woo hoo!) and we are planning on dinner at the restaurant where we had our rehearsal dinner. After these "events" I should be able to stick much closer to the plan.

The toughest thing for me right now is incorporating strength training into my exercise routine. I've been doing an hour of cardio 6x a week but haven't been so good about the strength training; which I know is important. I am going to shoot for doing 1 hour on the weekend and 2 30 min sessions during the week.

Something else that I was thinking about today... I've achieved a place where I really like ETL food. I can remember thinking all the time about what I was going to eat when I got to a treat day... like my birthday. These days; I don't obsess over treat days, I enjoy OP food when I eat it; but I enjoy ETL food just as much. There are days when I'd prefer not to eat a salad; and I usually don't on the weekend to give myself a break. But overall, I'm in a great place! I realized this evening that I had a perfect ETL day (except for the snack) without a second thought or temptation. How cool!

Today:
Breakfast: cereal with soy milk
Lunch: wheat toast
Dinner: Dr. Fuhrman's Anti Cancer Soup with added cauliflower and broccoli

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: potato

So I lost 2.6 pounds this week. I actually feel good about it. I was worried that I would have lost just one pound again or none at all, that my weight loss would stall here etc. This at least lets me know that I am still making decent progress. However, I know that I can do better and post higher numbers.

I was watching The Biggest Loser today and noticed that many of the people on the show were talking about their Goal Outfits (is this something they always do? I'm new to all that is the Biggest Loser!); I started thinking about what my goal outfit would be. I've decided that in will be a cute dress, I love wearing skirts and dresses but haven't because of my weight. Now after losing these first 50 pounds I am more comfortable in skirts and think that I will wear them a lot more as I lose weight and collect a new wardrobe. I don't own any dresses (wedding dress doesn't really count!) so it will be nice to be able to buy and wear all of the cute dresses I can only look at right now. :-)

i'm not perfect

Thursday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Wrap from HFS
Dinner: veggie chili
Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Dinner: Chili, small bowl of salt-free potato chips
Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Saturday:
Breakfast: 2 slices whole grain toast
Dinner: Dr. Fuhrman's Famous Anti-Cancer Soup
Exercise: 60 min treadmill


Well, the past few days have been far from perfect. Thursday I rethought my self-imposed embargo with the HFS wrap section and had one for lunch. I decided that it was too much for me to try to stay away; and that if I end up having one meal off plan every week it will help me to feel less deprived and if I can get to a place where I am near-perfect for the rest of the week then that won't be so bad. I do feel kind of bad that I went back on my word about the whole thing; but feel relief from trying so hard to be perfect and am comfortable with knowing that I will allow myself a little leeway.

Today I made Dr. Fuhrman's Famous Anti-Cancer Soup, this is something I've wanted to make since starting ETL and I'm glad I finally did! It's very easy to make, the cashews give it a very rich and slightly sweet flavor, and overall it's got a great fall-like soup thing going on. Hubby really had fun juicing the celery and carrots and blending the soup, so all in all this soup is chock full of wholesome family goodness.

My notes on the recipe: I ladeled 3 ladle fulls (I'd guess about 2 to 3 cups) of the soup over 1 cup of cooked lentils, since I only had 8 cups of cooked lentils I froze about half of the soup for later. I'm thinking it will make about 15 to 16 servings overall. I substituted some so-salt seasoning blend for the VegiZest and cooked up some lentils on the side so I could have a whole serving of beans with the soup. I didn't use the TVP, but next time I think I will give it a try (I did add some cremini mushrooms - next time I would add more). When I went to heat up the soup for dinner I put some frozen veggies in it and popped the whole thing in the microwave to heat up the soup and defrost/steam the veggies. It came out perfectly.

I hope tomorrow's weigh-in is decent. I'm kind of worried that it will take me forever to get out of the 240's because this is the lowest I've been (ick!) in a long time. I know that it will feel great when I get into the 230's because I really will be in territory that I haven't seen since I was in my early college days. No matter what, I'm not going to give up. I am determined to be a success story!

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: salad with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: rest day

Fuhrmometer Reading: Eggplant

Well I've successfully incorporated some veggies into all of my daily meals. I'm up to 5oz of spinach in my smoothies, which comes out to about 25% of all of the ingredients. Today I was thinking to myself... now should I be adding in fruit somewhere else in my day?

I think the answer is yes. I could easily have an apple with lunch or as an after dinner sweet treat and I think I would be better off for it. At least nutritionally. But I wonder if I really need the added sugars or if really need the added calories. I don't know. I guess the best I can do is give it a try and see how my body responds.

The yoga I did yesterday really worked me out! My legs have been sore today like they haven't been in a few weeks... it feels good; feels like things are happening. Plus doing the yoga really helped calm me down. I'm thinking of trying to get up in the morning and do some yoga in the morning to wake up and start the day in a peaceful and relaxed state. I say this now but when my alarm goes off I can see me choosing more sleep over yoga. But then again; I've come so far. I never thought that I'd be able to change my diet like I have or become so focused and faithful in my other workouts... Maybe I can do it. :-)

Well since today is a rest day... I'm going to go back to just that and enjoy some nice brainless television. :-)

a lentil kind of day

Today's Food:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: salad with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: Namaste Yoga (television show), 30 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: Lentil

Well hubby saved me today from a much lower Fuhrmometer reading and a steak dinner. I really really wanted to go get a wrap from the HFS and he talked me out of it. Well... he used my words and promises (posted here) to talk me out of it. But mostly it was his convincing threats that he would actually make me eat steak if I gave in and got a wrap. I didn't have one and am steak-free! Woo hoo! Thanks sweetie!

The reason that the Fuhrmometer went down from yesterday is that I did succumb to the cake in the fridge at work. I had a very small piece... just a few bites, which I ended up regretting because I ate it and didn't really take the time to savor it so before I knew it my tiny piece of cake was gone. THEN I wanted to go back for more, I definitely regret ever having any in the first place.

BUT - a factor that saved me from doom today is that I was planning on a light workout day today and ended up doing more than I thought. I had decided to do a few of the workout tv shows that were on as a change of pace, but after doing yoga I felt so much better that I went down to the basement and jumped on the treadmill. I can feel already that my arms, shoulders, and back got a great workout from the yoga. It felt really good.

So all in all an ok day. If I didn't have the cake I would have been much happier with myself. To an extent it was an emotional eating type of thing. I have been letting stress and conflict get to me much too much lately and need to figure out how to deal with things in a more constructive way. I need to do some brainstorming on this subject...

The Fuhrmometer

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended green soup (two bowls!)

Exercise: 45 min bike

Fuhrmometer Reading: broccoli

What is a Fuhrmometer (say it like thermometer)? It's something that I "invented" on the way home from work today when I was thinking about a way to gauge how close I stick to ETL. The ratings are taken from Dr. F's list/ratings of nutrient density (page 120 - 121 in ETL):

These numbers are my rankings and not the actual Nutrient Densities of the listed foods, they are in the proper order of nutrient density.
10 - Raw Leafy Vegetables = Kale (Perfect Day)
9 - Solid Green Vegetables = Broccoli
8 - Non-green Non- leafy veggies = Eggplant
7 - Beans and Legumes = Lentil
6 - Fresh Fruit = Blueberry
5 - Starchy Vegetables = Potato
4 - Whole Grains = Brown Rice
3 - Raw Nuts & Seeds = Cashew
2 - Meats & Dairy = Cheese
1 - Refined Foods & Sweets = Cookie (Totally Off Plan Junk Food Day)

Ok so today I gave myself "broccoli" a 9/10. I did very good today, everything I ate was on plan. I'm not sure about the second bowl of soup at dinner. I guess technically there was nothing wrong with going back for more, but it's not something that I'd like to see turn into a habit.

There was birthday cake at work today. I'm extremely happy to report that I didn't have ANY! Not one bite! And the thought did cross my mind to have "just a bite" but then I did think to myself how much I want to be perfect and that this wasn't a planned departure. After that; it wasn't tough to say no to the cake. AND - as a reward for it - our librarian (who I don't see very much) noticed that I've been losing weight... she asked me if I'd lost some weight and I just said "yes" and my admin assistant chimed in and said "a lot" or something like that... it felt good.

A big "You can do it!" goes out to my friend over at I Am Curious Vegan who is re-starting ETL today! (Tried to leave you a comment but blogger wouldn't let me!)

talk about anticlimactic

Today's Food:
Breakfast: toast, nutty buddy
Lunch/Dinner: pasta with parmesan cheese

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill



Well I ate like s&*^ today.

It's not because I'm upset about my less than stellar weigh-in. I am happy that I at least lost something this week; and I know that the weight will come off with time. I spent the day thinking about this pattern that I have of losing a bunch one week and then losing not a bunch the next week. I came to the miraculous ephipany (note sarcasm here)that it's all about what I eat. I'm willing to bet that if I were able to consistently stick with the plan and not let myself eat meals off plan then my weight loss would be much more consistent.

So why can't I eat OP consistently? I'm not sure, but I think I've become cocky. Thinking that I can get away with eating some "normal" food and still lose lots of weight. This line of thinking is obviously crap. I need to really commit to not eating off plan unless it is planned in advance. I want to be able to commit to this; very very very much but am worried that in the heat of the moment when I am really hungry or have had a stressful day that I'll just say "screw it" and eat what I want to. If only at that moment I could stop myself and realize that I WILL REGRET IT on weigh day.

Well the past is the past and all that I have control over is now. I'm going to do my best to stick to the plan this week. I think it's going to be about eating my planned meal when I am hungry and not letting my huger drag on and on until I am so ravenous I switch into "screw it" mode. It's also going to be about not letting stress get to me and making me switch into "screw it" mode either. I think I'll really be on to something if I can master these things.

Saturday

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: salad
Dinner: blended greens soup with some added broccoli and cauliflower florets, small bowl of low sodium potato chips

Exercise: 60 min bike, 35 min treadmill

Ok, let me just say that my first thought is to talk about tomorrow's weigh in right now... but I'm not going to. I'm just not going to say any more on the subject.

On a completely unrelated note... I'd like to send my thoughts out to Richard Hammond, host of the best car show on television Top Gear. Hammond was recently injured while filming a segment for the show in which he was driving a jet car at approximately 300 mph. Reports are that he is recovering and has been moved out of intensive care. Hubby and I love the show (did you know we're car nuts?) and send Richard and his family our best, most positive thoughts.

And finally... if you haven't done so already you should really watch OK Go dance in the treadmills:
OK Go - Here It Goes Again
I tried to embed this but just can't figure it out right now... someday!

The Smoothie

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: 45 min bike, 45 min treadmill

At the request of K.M. here is my current smoothie recipe:

I use a digital kitchen scale to weigh everything so that each smoothie is roughly the same.

4 oz frozen spinach
1 banana (this should make the total weight between 8 and 10 oz)
frozen strawberries - add until total weight is 15 oz
5 oz frozen blueberries (about 1 cup)

For my smoothie kits I put all of these things in a reusable Gladware (or similar) container and keep them in the freezer. I also have small bottles of water that I refill and keep in the fridge. They are the smaller Poland Spring bottles and it comes out to about 20 oz or 2½ cups. I dump the water in the VitaMix, put in 1 Tbsp of Flaxseed Meal (I get Bob's Red Mill), and then the fruit. If I'm looking for a more liquidy texture in the smoothie (rather than frozen and slushy) I toss the fruit in the microwave for a minute to thaw... they're still very frozen though.

Why these fruits? Well... first of all because I like them, but secondly Dr. F reccommends berries especially for people who are trying to lose weight... or so I remember. Spinach is among the most nutrient dense foods that you can have. Bananas lend a great texture and sweetness to the smoothie and the flax has all of those great Omega 3 Fatty Acids... although I can't remember exactly what they do at the moment...

Before I got brave enough to add spinach; I used to make my smoothie this way:
1 banana
9-10 oz frozen strawberries
5 oz frozen blueberries (about 1 cup)
1 Tbsp flaxseed meal
~2 cups water

And in the very beginning I used to make my smoothies like this:
1 banana
1 cup blueberries
Strawberries (I can't remember how much)
1 Tbs flaxseed meal
1 cup Soy Milk (I like the unsweetened Westsoy - it's just soybeans and filtered water)
1 cup water - or more if needed

I cut out the soy milk because I found that I didn't mind the smoothies without it; plus it's added fat and calories that I didn't really need. It does add an extra creaminess and is a good thing to use when getting used to drinking smoothies. The addition of the spinach has cut down on the sweetness of the overall smoothie but it's true what everyone says - you really can't taste it!

All of my measurements (especially the most recent ones) are tailored to fill up a Nalgene bottle, which when filled up to the very top will hold 40 oz of liquid, without there being any extra. So it breaks down to be about 20 fluid oz of water and 20 oz by weight of fruit to end up with 40 oz of smoothie. The kits and water bottles are a huge time saver in the morning; which is especially great for me because I am so NOT a morning person!

anything you can do i can do better

Today's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with blood orange vinegar, peanut butter
Dinner: blended greens soup



Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

So I've spent the last 2 hours glued to the Biggest Loser on tv. Interesting and thought-provoking stuff!

I've never watched a whole episode before. Probably because it used to be a show about people who were doing something about getting fit and healthy; something that I wasn't doing. A pretty good marker of how low my self-esteem used to be, and also just how much I didn't want to face or think about my weight and what I needed to do about it.

But now, that I am committed to getting healthy... naturally I find the show fascinating. I also envy those people that get to spend their days working out instead of working and having to keep house. Wouldn't it be nice to get to live like that? No responsibilities but to yourself? With a trainer to work you out and coach you along the way... yeah... I'll bet I could lose 12 or 14 pounds in a week if I had those luxuries too!

On the flipside... I realize that I don't need a television show to get into shape. Sure the incentives and prizes sound nice, but I'm doing pretty well on my own. I think that to an extent those of us who are losing weight and exercising out "here" by ourselves have an edge over people who feel that they need a television show to lose weight. We have INTERNAL motivation; something that won't go away after a television show is over. I think we've got the edge, and we're the ones that are going to achieve our goals, maintain our weight loss, and be the true success stories.

All said, I'm rooting for that woman from Rhode Island... she's not one of the 14 in the house; but I hope she does well on her own so she can come back :-)

the pithy yet amusing title - of a sandwich

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: nuked potato, blended greens soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

My local health food store (HFS) is really cool. I don't have a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's but what I do have is a local natural foods store that has commercials with people dressed up like the fruit of the loom people and a cute little doggy. The prepared food that they sell in their deli section comes with funny little titles on them that are always changing. One week my favorite wrap will be called "Mr. Bigglesworth Sets Off for Nova Scotia" and the next week it will be called "Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines"... you just never know and it adds some entertainment to your meal. A very cool HFS.

The bad thing? I have become obsessed with these wraps. They are so good and the HFS is so close to work that I actually found myself wishing the other day that I could get lunch there every day. I think about the wraps every day when I start getting hungry for lunch and don't want to eat my salad. Luckily, I've managed to restrict myself to only going once a week but I know it's not good for me. The excess sodium in the wraps has been known to give me headaches... Yet I still go back for more! Why do I do this? As I said the other day, I've become very accustomed to NOT having headaches anymore. I've got to break this addiction...

So what did I do? I made a pledge to myself (backed up by hubby) that I will only go to the HFS to buy food that I need to make recipes that I can't buy at the regular grocery store or at BJ's and when I do I will give hubby the receipt to show exactly what I bought. What are the consequences if I break my promise? I will eat a piece of hubby's steak. This is a very strong motivating factor for me because I'd rather get hit by a train rather than eat a piece of steak. YUCK.

Maybe every once in a while I can indulge in this as a treat... but definitely not for a long time until I've done something to earn it.

Has anyone else out there developed any new or different food obsessions since starting a trek to health, fitness and weight loss? How do you deal with these obsessions?

The Numbers Game

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: wrap from the HFS
Dinner: blended green soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

So lets talk numbers:

298.6 - That's what I weighed when I started ETL. Before I made the decision to start ETL I don't think I had ever stepped on our scale. I just didn't want to know. I knew I felt like crap and I looked like crap... I didn't need the scale to confirm that for me.

At first I was so ashamed of how much I weighed that I didn't want to post it here. I didn't even tell hubby how much I weighed. I just didn't want anyone to know; which is silly because it's not like anyone would look at me and NOT know that I could stand to lose some major poundage. Now, after reading the weight loss blogs of many others I realize that it's part of the deal. It helps you to identify with someone; maybe feel better about yourself... especially if you've got less to lose!

158.6 - That's how much I'd like to lose. It's a lot... as of today I still have 108.6 left to go. But as I said yesterday, I know I am going to make it there. I believe it at such a fundamental level that there is no "if's" or "i hope's" about it.

240(ish) - About my lowest adult weight... I don't really know how much I weighed when I was a senior in high school or when I was a freshman or sophomore in college... I went on a big health kick in my senior year of undergraduate study which I kept up through grad school. When I met my hubby as near as I can guess I was in the 240 to 250 range. (Which is where I am now... kinda cool!)

136 to 140 - That's my goal weight. It's in the middle of the reccommended range for someone of my height (5'6"). So I feel that it is a reasonable target for someone who has been 200lbs plus since middle school. When I get there I will re-evaluate my goals... we shall see.

120 - That's Dr. Fuhrman's ideal weight for someone of my height. I think that this is too thin for me; and many people out there that are also ETLing feel that these goals are a little bit ambitous as well...

3.5 - The number of pounds I'd like to lose per week in the next few weeks to reach my Boston goal. ;-)

Milestone!

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: baked potato
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Woo hoo! I'm down 50 pounds! I can't express how happy I am to have found Eat to Live, and that it is working so well for me. I only wish that I had heard about it earlier so that I could have made this change in my life a long time ago. But really there are no worries, the past is the past and all we can do is make positive changes for a better future right?

50 pounds makes a lot of difference on a body! The two areas in which I am noticing the most difference are in my clothes and in my workouts. When I started ETL I had clothes that just barely fit me because I was too stubborn to buy a larger size. I had pants that I had to stuff myself into and could barely close. Now? Those same pants that I could barely fit into are getting baggy and I have other pants which are just plain too big now. I am now wearing pants that I've kept out of sight in a closet full of clothes that I couldn't wear before (I can fit into pretty much everything in that closet now!). My workouts have vastly improved too... when I started working out after not regularly working out for almost 2 years (ick!) I was happy to make it 30 minutes on the treadmill at a measly 2.5 miles per hour and a 0.5% incline. These days my workouts are an hour long and the treadmill is set to at least 3.0 miles per hour and a 3% incline with some jogging, which I tackle after a very rigorous workout on the bike. To me, that is a HUGE change.















I used to read those fitness magazines with the success stories where people would say things like "the weight just melted off" and felt so envious/wanted to kick those people. Good for you! I'd think... what was their secret and why wasn't I clued in? Maybe I just wasn't one of those people who was supposed to have success in losing weight. Well, I know now that everyone can have sucess in losing weight if they really want to and put in the effort. It's not easy; the pounds don't just melt away, but the most important thing is that everyone CAN do it if they really want to!

Now don't think that I've gotten all ahead of myself or anything, I know I still have a long way to go. But I feel with such certainty that I can make it to my goal that I'm not upset by the fact that I'm still just under 30% of the way there. It doesn't matter at all... I've built the foundation for success and I know I can make it. I'm not just hoping that I will get there or thinking in the back of my mind that for some reason it won't work for me, because I know that it will. It's all a matter of eating on plan and exercising... two things that get easier and easier to stick with all the time.

Dr. Fuhrman should do an infomercial or something...

M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: wrap from HFS
Dinner: broccoli & cauliflower, no salt potato chips

Exercise: rest day

Hi, sorry it's been so long. If you blog with blogger and have upgraded to the new blogger beta; you know what a headache it can be. I haven't been able to sign in since Monday. I wasn't itentionally neglecting my blogging duties (and I wasn't cheating on the diet... well until today). If you blog and haven't upgraded to beta yet... wait... it's just not worth it right now. There are still too many bugs in the system.

So I found out today that I'll be going to a conference (I work in Higher Ed... it's what we do) in November. It's the first time that I've ever gotten to travel anywhere to go to a conference and it's in Boston, a city that I've never been to! I have some good friends that live there that I haven't seen since my wedding so that makes it for triple excitement. It also kicks in my motivation... I hope to be down another 25 - 30 pounds before I go so that I can feel really good about myself.

So this Sunday we'll see what I need to shoot for as a weekly loss to make my newest goal. I'm thinking it will be about 3.5 pounds a week; which I think I can do.

One last parting thought... an exchange between me and hubby earlier today:
"I'm kinda getting tired of this diet."
"But are you getting tired of the results?"
"Nope!"
"Well there you go!"
"I know."

Holy Cow!

Wednesday's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie

Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar

Dinner: Blended Green Soup

Exercise: 31 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes bike

I have never been a fan of vinegar. The smell and the taste have never been something that I could stomach. When I was first researching and reading about Eat to Live, I was a bit concerned/discouraged that Dr. F had such an emphasis on vinegars as flavoring agents. Luckily Green Velvet salad dressing was one of the salad dressings that I first tried and really liked and adapted into the Green Velour.

Well this week I had run out of Green Velour and forgot to make more before going to work on Wednesday. On my way out the door I grabbed the Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar that I've had in the cupboard for over 3 months and figured I'd give it a try on my salad at lunch.

At first, it looks and smells like regulat balsamic vinegar... but after a few bites of salad the sweet fruity pomegranate flavor came out. IT WAS REALLY GOOD! I couldn't believe that I liked it so much and devoured my romaine dressed in only the vinegar.

The moral of the story? If you have a past history with vinegar that is less than favorable, give the Cuisine Perel's (the company that manufactures Dr. F's vinegars) vinegars a try. If the rest of the vinegars are as non-vinegary as the Pomegranate Balsamic; you'll be very pleasantly surprised.

The same goes for kale and collards! I'd never tried them before I made this week's soup and they are very good as well :-) Just goes to show that we should all try something new and not be hedged in by preconcieved notions or fear of leaving our comfort zone.

Tuesday

Today's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie

Lunch: Romaine with Green Velour

Dinner: Blended Green Soup

Exercise: 40 min bike, 32 min treadmill

So I have been trying to get in as many of those super healthy cruciferous veggies into my diet. I've started (finally) putting spinach in my smoothies. Right now I'm only at 2 ounces of frozen spinach per smoothie, which is about 10% by volume of the "stuff" that I put in my smoothies - not counting the water. I plan on working up to 5 ounces per smoothie, which will be 25%.

The Blended Green Soup is EXCELLENT! I highly reccommend it. One thing though, you really do need a very very big pot to cook it in, all of those whole raw leafies take up a lot of space until they're wilted. I've been sprinkling some Braggs Liquid Aminos on the top of it to give it a little bit of saltiness; I really like the flavor that it adds.

Recipe Time

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with green velour
Dinner: blended green soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Blended Green Soup
by Shelly E on Dr. Fuhrman's Member Center

6 cups water
1 to 1 1/2 cups of dried beans or green lentils (3 cups when cooked)
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 heaping TBS of dried parsley
1 heaping tsp of dried basil
1 heaping tsp of dried sage
1 heaping tsp of dried chervil
1 cup carrots, chopped
2 cups celery, chopped
3-4 zucchinis (chop ends but leave whole)
1 head of cabbage (left mostly whole but cored)
1 bunch of collards (remove thick stem but leave whole)
1 bunch of kale (remove thick stem, leave whole)
1 bunch of broccoli (cut off thick stem again, but leave whole)
1 cup frozen green peas (thawed)
1 cup frozen chopped green beans (thawed)
1 cup frozen corn
1 28 oz can of diced tomatoes (no salt added) I pulse it in my blender first to "spread out" the tomato taste.
1 package of broccoli sprouts (optional, lends a different flavor)

Cook beans (soaked overnight if necessary) in water till tender. Drain and reserve water. Put beans aside. In a VERY large pot add: water from the cooked beans, onion, garlic, seasonings, carrots, celery. Then add the bigger uncut whole vegetables: Cabbage, broccoli, zucchinis, and collards/ kale (broccoli sprouts if using) on top. Simmer until vegetables are tender, about45-60 minutes. Then ladle some of the water from the bottom and blend all the greens up in small batches in a blender. Use some of the liquid from the canned diced tomatoes if need be. Place all back in the pot and then add diced tomatoes, green peas, green beans, and corn and cook till they are tender, about another 15-20 minutes. Add cooked beans.

Nicole's changes: I cooked a whole 1 pound bag of green lentils for this and portioned them out into 1 cup servings and ladled the cooked soup over the top. I added a little bit of black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, and omitted the green peas ('cause I don't like them) and added a whole bag of frozen green beans. I didn't bother to heat the soup after blending the greens and adding in the tomatoes, corn, and green beans.

The blended greens came out very thick and hearty. The taste is very fresh and healthy and tasty! The recipe made 7+ servings for me. Very good!

"thank god you're not a cowboy, 'cause the cowboy way is even harder"

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Dinner: chili

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Ok so yesterday was the official start of my re-commitment to Dr. Fuhrman's 6 week plan/challenge. I'm going to do my best to stick with it until our first anniversary in just under six weeks (cough cough... hubby: get me jewelry! cough cough). I feel like this was just what I needed; a new challenge to keep myself accountable... along with all of the good feelings of sticking with my plan and knowing the guilt and shame I will feel if I let myself down.

Like today, I misjudged my day and my meals and didn't really have any lunch. I had plans to go out shopping for plants to re-landscape on the front of our house with my mom; and I knew that I had to get laundry done and work out and take a shower before I left the house. So... I sucked down my smoothie as quickly as I could in between doing loads of laundry and then I did my workout, jumped in the shower, got dressed and left. By the time I got home I was so hungry I just wanted to make a bag of popcorn and call that dinner... but I knew that I'd be failing myself and that that bag of popcorn wasn't going to do anything positive for me and my weight loss goals. I'm so happy that I had the chili and stayed on plan.

Speaking of cheating... despite eating crap pretty much all week last week (some days were better than others) I ended up losing 3.6 pounds. Not too shabby. I think that these 3 months that I have been on ETL have really changed not only the way that my body responds to food but also the way that I think of it. I think that the mental process and my commitment to exercise has helped me not gain anything these past 2 weeks and actually lose 4+ pounds. Don't get me wrong, I know that if I have a good week with Eat to Live and exercise that I can lose even more than that and I don't plan on making eating off plan foods every day a habit; even when I reach my goal weight.

I have been enjoying clothes out of "the skinny closet" lately... all of the clothes I had put away because I didn't like the way that they fit anymore. It is so much fun to think, "I don't know what I'm going to wear today... let's see what is in the skinny closet" and then go in there and actually be able to wear the clothes that are in there! It's awesome that I can look at those clothes and think that these are clothes that aren't off limits to me anymore. If they don't fit me right now, the will soon! I know it's kind of materialistic; but it makes me so happy! Yesterday I pulled out a pair of jeans that I had to put in there a while ago because they were too tight and very uncomfortable to wear. Well now they are mighty comfortable! When I've lost enough weight that these clothes are too big for me we're going to have to buy some new ones, which is exciting but also annoying because I know I won't wear them long enough to get a decent amount of money's worth out of them. I think I'll have to get by with clothes from Old Navy and the clearance racks for a while. That's a little way off though; but not such a bad thing!

Resolution

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie (with spinach!)
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds
Dinner: veggie burger with lettuce and tomato on a whole grain role, a few french fries w/ ketchup

Exercise: rest day

Getting back on track is much harder than I thought it would be! Except for the other night when I had a headache and couldn't sleep I don't think I'm really having serious detox symptoms or anything... but at the same time I haven't had a perfect ETL day all week. I think that beginning this Saturday I am going to start a new six week challenge and not allow myself any cheating until my anniversary, which is actually five weeks away, but if I had said five week challenge it just wouldn't have been the same...

What is the six week challenge/plan? Here's the breakdown (as posted on FatFreeVegan):

Eat to Live 6-Week Plan

UNLIMITED (eat as much as you want):
all raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1 lb. daily)
cooked green vegetables (goal 1 lb. daily)
beans, legumes, bean sprouts, or *tofu (minimum 1 cup daily in total of these)
fresh fruit (at least 4 daily).
eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomato and other non-starchy vegetables, cooked and raw (unlimited)
*Beans should be eaten daily; tofu should be eaten less frequently.

LIMITED (not more than one serving):
cooked starchy vegetables OR whole grains--Maximum 1 cup per day (butternut or acorn squash, corn, sweet potato, brown rice, cooked carrots, whole grain breads*, whole grain cereals*)
raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. or 28.5 grams a day) or 2 ounces avocado
ground flaxseed (1 tablespoon a day)
soymilk, low-sugar preferred--Maximum 1 cup a day*avoid breads and cereals as much as possible

OFF-LIMITS:
dairy products
animal products
between meal snacks
fruit juice, dried fruits
salt, sugar

There you have it; the last time (well it was the first time too) I tried to stick to the plan I lost about 25 pounds in 5 weeks and my workouts weren't as strenuous or lengthy as they are now; so I think that I can do it. Also, last time I made it about 2 weeks before giving in and going off plan; this time my goal is to stay completely on plan the whole time. Hopefully it will stick :-)

being fat and trying not to be

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds and some strawberries and grapes (fruit not in the salad)
Dinner: cheese bread and butter

Exercise: 30 min bike, 20 min treadmill

Today my co-workers surprised me with birthday fruit salad (instead of cake) it was very thoughtful of them and very tasty as well. While we were all in the kitchen the subject of my diet inevitably came up and someone asked how much weight I've lost since starting the diet nearly 3 months ago.

"As of the last time I weighed myself, 41 pounds." I said.

And they broke out into a round of applause. Applause!? I felt so self conscious. I'm not really sure why, I guess I should feel proud of what I've accomplished... but I just felt uncomfortable. Maybe it's just because I never really like to be the center of attention; maybe it's because my weight is still a very sensitive and personal thing for me... I don't know.

I've noticed that since beginning to lose weight my attitude toward myself has changed quite a bit. I regard myself not so much as an overweight person but as someone who is into being healthy and active. Maybe I've jumped the gun a little bit...

The other day when Hubby and I were at the Home Depot there was a guy who was waiting for some help in the same aisle as we were trying to pick out some new things for our bathroom. He was an older man who for some reason felt that it was necessary to make friends with Hubby and I, trying to give us advice about what we should and shouldn't get and so on.

Hubby went down the aisle to grab one of those rolling stairs thingies to get something off a shelf that was a little too high for us to reach. I know, he's such a rebel climbing on those Employee Only stairs (hehe). And our new friend looked at me and said something along the lines of; "The world isn't just friendly for big people like us." I just looked at him and smiled and walked away so that he wouldn't feel the need to talk to me anymore but in my head I was thinking "US? I don't think so buddy... not me I'm not going to be 'big like you' for long, I'm well on my way to skinnydom."

But homeboy's comment stuck with me... I'm definitely not thin (I know this). Many people probably look at me and think that I am rather large. I guess the important thing to remember despite these kind of embarrassing/discouraging experiences is that I have come a long way and that losing 41 pounds is nothing to sneeze at! I just need to work on maintaining the state of mind that I am in the middle of a process which still has a long way to go and am not yet able to reap the benefits of reaching my overall goals. I can think I'm thin when I actually am.

monday? tuesday...

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds
Dinner: chili, french bread

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Last night I learned that ice cream is not my friend... in fact it is my enemy. Well no; it's probably no worse to me than a casual acquaintance but since it was the last thing that I ate yesterday it's what I attributed my lack of being able to go to sleep and my annoyingly persistent headache to. I ended up not falling asleep until 2:30 or later. Not fun.

It's detox... and it sucks. I'd gotten so used to not having cravings or headaches nearly as much as I used to before starting ETL. Something else that I had really gotten used to was being able to go to sleep with relative ease. Before starting ETL I frequently had a really hard time falling asleep and since I started to eat better and work out falling asleep has been much much easier. Maybe it is due to cutting out the refined sugar... bringing me back to the ice cream... hmm.

Today was a better day. No ice cream tonight! Tomorrow's goal is no bread and I should be back on track 100%. I've learned that I can occasionally go off plan for one meal; but much more than that is more than I want to handle.

getting back to normal

Today's Food:

Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds

Dinner: chili, piece of french bread

Dessert: chocolate ice cream (small portion)

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill, 15 min arms

Today was a busy day around the house; hubby and I did a couple little do-it-yourself projects and I also did some chores etc. I stayed pretty active throughout the day and had a great workout. I know the bread and ice cream aren't exactly nutritional powerhouses but I did much better today than I have in the past week so I can live with it.

Tomorrow is back to work and the real regular routine. I'm stressed out about going back to work already; I've got to figure out an effective way to deal with work-related stress... Something I'll have to look into.

one year older

Hi everybody! How was your week? Mine was good; I'm certainly happy to be home. Despite all of my planning and preparation, I didn't really stick to ETL while on vacation. I did have some smoothies and salads and ate the dinners I took with me a few nights, but I also allowed myself to have some non-ETL foods as well. I realized that my willpower isn't very strong; I definitely do much better when the food isn't there to tempt me in the first place. Oh well, it was a nice little break. I did get a few workouts in during the week and also managed actually lose .6 pounds this past week, which brings me to a total of -41 pounds!

I am thrilled with this because I was very worried that I would end up gaining this past week and really didn't want to have to deal with losing the same pounds over again. I know that at some point I'll probably have to deal with gaining and re-losing some pounds, but I'd like to deal with that when I'm closer to my goal weight.

I missed my goal of being at -50 pounds by my birthday but it's ok. I am feeling good and wearing clothes that I hadn't been able to wear before. I'm still going to work on hitting my goal to fit into my Tommy Hilfiger pants (never worn, still have tags on them) and baby blue silk shirt for our 1st anniversary in about 6 weeks.

So starting tomorrow morning it's back to normal; eating ETL as close to 100% as I can and exercising at least 6 days a week. I'm actually excited to be getting back to what's become my normal routine. I'm also happy that I gave myself a little bit of a break; it's renewed my motivation and also has shown me how easy eating on plan and exercising has become. Without even realizing it eating for nutritional excellence and being more active have become my lifestyle; how great!