Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min flexibility workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, mixed berries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: 1/2 bowl Thai Coconut Soup with tofu and veggies
Dinner: mozzarella sticks, salad (romaine, green onion, mandarin oranges, almonds, ginger lime sesame dressing), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 7.5 lentil/eggplant

Wednesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min core workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, mixed berries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: 1/2 bowl Thai Coconut Soup with veggies
Exercise: walk around the neighborhood with Cammie and Hubby
Dinner: Salad (romaine, scallions, mandarin orange sections, almonds, ginger-lime-sesame dressing); raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 Broccoli/Kale

Writing is a funny thing - either you love it or you hate it. I think that most of the time my feelings regarding writing revolve around if I have anything to say or not, it's so much easier to write when you actually have something you want to say. One of my favorite thoughts about writing is from the book Sophie's Choice where the narrator is a young writer, he states that (paraphrase) "the most insulting thing to a writer is the blank page." Isn't that the truth when you have to sit down to write something and have no idea what on earth to say.

Lately I haven't had too much that I really felt was worth writing about, that and I feel like I've been really busy lately with stuff around the house and whatnot... at least that's what I was telling myself. I thought about it some more and the real reason is that for the last week and a half I've been feeling like I don't want to try so hard with the eating - I've felt like my workouts have been good and consistent and I don't want to be so strict with myself when it comes to food.

I know that this really is crap. It's not doing anything good for my weight loss (although luckily it hasn't done anything negative either). I don't want to maintain the weight that I am at but I am kind of behaving like it.

BUT I still feel like I want to be more relaxed with my food - I don't know... I think maybe if I allow myself one planned "off plan" meal a week, like dinner on Fridays with Hubby, then that will be something I can live with without starting to feel deprived or stressed out about things. Yeah, I can do that.

In Review:

Monday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min cardio workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, flax, cocoa powder, water)
Lunch: 2 veggie dogs, no salt chips, coleslaw
Exercise: ~60 min walk in the park with Hubby and Cammie
Dinner: 2 veggie dogs, no salt chips, corn; raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 4.5 brown rice/ potato

Tuesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min upper body workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, mixed berries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: Springtime Soup (how I love thee!)
Dinner: 1 veggie dog, some cheese & crackers, salad, broccoli with a little pasta, strawberries, raw brownies (WOW! I totally blew it there!)
Fuhrmometer: 6 - blueberry

Susan V's Thai Coconut Soup with Tofu and Mushrooms (and some extra veggies, cause hey; I gotta live up to this blog's name ;-)

Sunday:
Exercise: (throughout the day) 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min treadmill, 30 min flexibility workout (Y!F), 30 min walk with Cammie
Food: not awesome, but not horrible

Saturday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min core workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, flax, cocoa powder, water)
Activity: Yard Work
Lunch: a couple salt potatoes with ketchup
Dinner: Salad (romaine, quorn naked cutlet, sliced almonds, raspberry balsamic dressing); mushrooms; raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8 - Eggplant

slight improvement

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: pizza crusts...
Dinner: Salad (romaine, raspberry balsamic, quorn naked cutlet, almonds); 3 small salt potatoes with ketchup, raw brownies
Exercise: rest day
Fuhrmometer: 6 - blueberry

can i have a do-over?

Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min upper body workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: mock chicken salad wrap from HFS
Dinner: eggplant parmesan sub, ice cream sandwich
Fuhrmometer: 3 - Cashew

Thank you Mary for keeping me accountable and making me post - I was attempting to slide under the radar but you are too good!

I don't know what happened yesterday, I have no good reasons or excuses for eating the way I did and I do feel bad about it and wish I could take it back. I can say that I noticed two things - 1. the food isn't worth it and I get much more enjoyment and "feel good" out of eating healthily and 2. I don't really like cheese anymore - I peeled most of it off of my sub - so that is some progress.

Today I am back on track and I will post again tonight to prove it.

Wednesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min cardio workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (36ish oz) Spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water
Lunch: 1/2 Bowl Springtime Soup
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad (romaine, raspberry balsamic dressing, quorn naked cutlet); Raw Brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9 - broccoli

Today I am craving Thai Food, I'm not going to have it but I do want it... really badly. I know that there are many things that are more important than Thai Food, including the fact that I can realistically meet the -100 lbs mark within the next few weeks if I am extremely dedicated and diligent and that is something that will be really exciting. I don't want to eat anything that will lead to me feeling guilty or defeated or set me back in any way to meet this milestone.

Tuesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min flexibility workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: 1/2 bowl Springtime Soup
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad - lettuce, hummus, wasabi wonton strips; Raw Brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8.5 - eggplant/broccoli

Today I realized that I can be satisfied on less than what I planned to eat, and that I don't have to force myself to realize that. For someone who has been an over eater for pretty much all of her life this is pretty cool. I was eating my lunch and just came to a point where I was satiated and realized that I could save the other half of my soup for lunch tomorrow.

It's not that I would or should feel bad if I had eaten the entire thing - but the fact that I don't have to force myself to stop if I want to or need to and can listen to what my body really wants/needs. I've never been one of those people who could stop eating a restaurant meal in the middle just because. It always was a conscious effort to not look like a pig in front of others. I never understood how people could do that or leave food on their plate but now I am starting to get it. And that's really cool to me.

Weigh In

Monday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min core (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, banana, flax, water)
Lunch: some portobello - onion - broccoli rabe soup
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad (field greens, shredded carrot, hummus), quorn naked cutlet on 1/2 whole wheat pita with tomato and onion, ice cream sandwich
Exercise: 15:20 running on tm
Fuhrmometer: 8 - eggplant

Weight today is 215.0 which is down 2.8 from 2 weeks ago and down about 5 from last Monday (after 4 or 5 days of junk and no workouts). I'm pleased with it and since a lot of the craziness at work is over for now I know that I'll have no excuses for not sticking with the program. :-)

Edit: I wish I had remembered what I wrote this morning when I decided to have an ice cream sandwich after dinner! I did remember about half way through eating it and decided to go run it off on the treadmill. I'm glad I did [decide to do that], it felt good to really work hard. However, in the future I want to eat without feeling guilty about it (because it's good food and not crap) and work out hard because I can and am fit enough to do it.

weekend flog

Weekend:
Saturday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Cardio workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, chia seeds, cocoa powder, water)
Exercise Strenuous Activity: 5 hours of gardening/yard work
Dinner: sesame tofu and rice
Fuhrmometer: 6.5 blueberry/lentil

Sunday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min upper body (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, flax, cocoa powder, water)
Lunch: fresh spring rolls (not the fried kind), curry rice with veggies
Dinner: Salad (Quorn Naked Cutlet with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, red onion and balsamic)
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Fuhrmometer: ?

Edit: For some reason comments aren't appearing for this post... strange!

the superiority that is the salad

The college I work for had graduation yesterday, this was me!

I felt awesome all day despite runs in my stockings :-) At lunch/dinner in between the Graduate and Undergraduate ceremonies we went to an Italian restaraunt where their most popular dish is spaghetti parmesan - yup, pasta with sauce covered in tons of mozzerella cheese and broiled. I am happy to say that I had a salad and it was wonderful - mixed greens with big chunks of apple, dried cherries, walnuts, red onion and a little bit of crumbly blue cheese (I picked off a bunch of the blue cheese) and balsamic vinegar for dressing! When the server brought me my salad everyone at the table (there were 14 of us) oohed and aahed over my salad. It was awesome. The best part was after dinner when we were heading back for the evening ceremony and everyone was complaining about how stuffed they felt and I felt awesome :-)

How to Smoothie

Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min flexibility workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: The Smoothie
Lunch: none
Dinner: Salad (lettuce, hummus, cucumber, red onion), 1/2 whole wheat pita with Quorn Naked Cutlet, tomato and red onion; raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8 - eggplant

---

Yesterday Tara asked for more details about my smoothies. So here goes:

On the weekend I put together my smoothie kits for the week, so in the mornings all I have to do is quickly defrost the kit in the microwave for 1 minute and then throw everything in the VitaMix and viola!

I use a digital kitchen scale to make sure things are roughly the same and that the finished product fills up my Nalgene wide-mouth bottles:

8 oz frozen spinach (Dr. Fuhrman says to count the same as fresh)
5 oz frozen blueberries
1/2 banana
enough strawberries to make 1lb 4oz or 20oz total weight
flax (1Tb ground or 2Tb whole)

2 cups of water or 1 16.9 oz bottle

Sometimes I do change things up but this is what I stick with most of the time due to the ease of getting the ingredients goodness from the berries and spinach.

desserts and dresses

Wednesday:
Exercise: short walk with Cammie (it started raining), 25 min on treadmill, 40ish min Core workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: 1/2 bowl of mushroom - onion - broccoli rabe soup
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad (baby greens, cucumber, red onion, greek inspired dressing), Raw Brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9 - Broccoli

The other day I had a Lara Bar with lunch. It was a chocolate coconut Lara Bar to be specific. I can remember the first time I had a Lara Bar and how it was the most awesome thing that I had ever tasted and I couldn't believe that it was all natural and (kind of) allowed on ETL. It really did taste like a brownie to me.

Then a while back I read about Raw Brownies made with dates, walnuts and cocoa powder. I made them and again could not believe how good and decadent they were. The other day was the first time since discovering the Raw Brownies that I had a Lara Bar, and as much as I love Lara Bars and the fact that they are out there creating all natural food - I have to say it just didn't compare.

I think that I prefer the Raw Brownies to pretty much every other sweet that exists, which is cool because it's a really sensible way to not feel deprived of "normal" food (junk) which I still struggle with from time to time.

Like recently with all of the stress of work I would go home and want to share a meal with hubby - which last week meant things like pizza, or burgers (veggie burgers for me) on the grill, and ice cream. It is something that I need to figure out how to get over.

To completely change topics but not really, this morning when I was on the treadmill I tried to visualize how I want to be/look/feel when I reach my goal to help get me refocused and motivated. I couldn't think of anything in particular but did think about how I don't want to be stuck where I am for long - clothing wise I'm on the very edge of being able to shop in the "normal" stores and I'd really like to get firmly into that territory sooner than later. I can see a huge milestone (100 lbs lost) in the distance and would really like to get there and to "Onederland" soon as well. I'll be seeing family this summer that I haven't seen for a year or two and it would be really nice to say "yeah, I've lost 100 pounds since June 06..."

But then when I got to work this morning and checked one of my favorite non-food or weight loss blogs A Dress A Day, and I saw it, a beautiful dress that I could just picture my goal self in and I knew that I have to have that dress and that I have to get to my goal so that I can feel good in a dress like that. It's the entire motivational package.

Now I just have to remember that dress before giving in to eating the kind of junk that I have been eating, because a cookie may provide a few minutes of pleasure - but dresses definitely last much longer.

Sorry!

Tuesday:
Exercise: 20 min treadmill, 30 min upper body workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (Spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: small package of croutons (no clue why), 1/2 bowl of mushroom - onion - broccoli rabe soup
Exercise: nice long walk with the doggie
Dinner: falafel sandwich, ice cream sandwich
Fuhrmometer: 7ish

Ok, so mid last week I gave up. I was just too stressed out to deal with anything and gave in to eating for comfort. Since Sunday I've been trying to get back on track and today I'm doing pretty well; I feel confident that I'm back from this stumble - I need some new clothes and have decided that I'm going to go shopping when I hit the 90 pounds lost mark. ;-)

Recipe coming soon!

Sunday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 16 min jogging on TM, 30 min Flexibility (Y!F)
Breakfast/Lunch: Smoothie (Spinach, Cherries, Banana, Cocoa Powder, Flax, Water)
Dinner: potato chips, Salad (mixed greens, greek inspired dressing, falafel), small bit of ice cream
Fuhrmometer: too tired to decide right now

I have stuff to say, I'm just too tired to say it right now. I haven't given up, things have just been a little out of control lately. I promise I'll be back tomorrow with a better post.

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch:
Exercise:
Dinner:
Fuhrmometer:

It’s just disgusting. It’s got to stop. Eating processed, prepared, dairy/salt/oil/sugar laden foods that is. I’ve had enough of being involuntarily drawn to their evil effects and I’m done.

Yesterday I would classify as a binge. I had one tiny bite of that sweet either pumpkin or orange bread with chocolate chips in it and it was like a switch was flipped and I had to have more. It was the same thing with the chips and salsa – which in theory aren’t too bad but contained way way way too much salt and oil I’m sure and made me feel really ill after eating them. I scolded myself for not eating my soup which I had brought for lunch and I know would have made me feel good instead of feeling like I wanted to vomit. I did not like myself much yesterday.

Today those same foods are available. Today I am just as busy (if not busier) than I was yesterday. Today I’m not going to eat that crap. I’m not going to tomorrow either. It’s just not worth it. I’ve got perfectly tasty food of my own to eat which I know will make me feel good and feel good about myself too.

I know that there will be times when I will choose and plan to eat “off plan” foods; but it’s more of an issue of control than anything else. Yesterday I felt like the choices I was making were out of my own conscious control and that totally sucks. I know that if I plan something ahead and am in full control of it I will make better decisions about what to eat and won’t feel as psychologically bad about it and won’t adopt the “screw it” mentality.

But for now and for 98% of the time I’m sticking to ETL friendly food only. There’s no other way to do it when considering that if I don’t I’m hurting myself in more ways than one.

chaos!

Tuesday:
Breakfast: Smoothie, Some Orange or Pumpkin bread thing
Lunch: tortilla chips and salsa, more of that bread stuff
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Core (Y!F), 5 minutes running on TM
Dinner: Smoothie (Spinach, raspberry, mango); falafel
Fuhrmometer: 6.5

This week my professional life is completely out of control. My hours are all messed up and I have more things that need to be done than I can count. I am determined to do my best and stay as normal as I can with my eating and working out. I probably won't have too much of a chance to get to comment for anyone this week - but I am thinking of all of you!

Monday:
Breakfast/Lunch: Smoothie, Falafel
Lunch/Dinner: Springtime Soup, Falafel

Weight today is 217.8 which is 2.2 pounds less than last week - decent.

I am inhumanly busy today so I'll be back with more tomorrow. :-)

Sunday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Upper Body (Y!F), 30 min treadmill
Breakfast/Lunch: (at 12) Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, flax, cocoa powder)
Snack: (at 5ish) orange
Exercise: 45 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: (at 8:30) Salad (romaine, falafel, cucumber, red onion, dressing), 1/2 whole wheat pita, raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 Brocco-Kale

Just a sweet spring day :-)
Nicole’s ETL-friendly Falafel
Makes 24 Falafel

Time consuming? Maybe a little. Worth it? You bet.

6 cups cooked, drained & cooled chickpeas/ garbonzo Beans (about 1 lb dry)
1 bunch green onions
3-4 cloves garlic
¼ cup fresh parsley
6 Tbsp ground flax
½ cup wheat germ
¼ cup whole wheat breadcrumbs (grind up some toasted low sodium bread or pita in the food processor)
1 tsp paprika
1 Tbsp ground cumin
1 Tbsp ground coriander
1 tsp ground turmeric
2 – 4 Tbsp Braggs Liquid Aminos (to taste)
¼ Cup tahini (raw and unsalted)
1 Tbsp lemon juice
Water as needed (can use reserved bean cooking water)

The food processor is your best friend with these, although not 100% necessary.

1. In the food processor pulse cooled chickpeas until ground up but not pulverized (see the texture in the picture?) or if not using a food processor just mash them up. Set aside.
2. In food processor or blender make a paste with the green onions, garlic, and parsley. Set aside.
3. Add wheat germ, flax, breadcrumbs, cumin, coriander, and turmeric to chickpeas and stir to combine.
4. Add green onion, garlic, and parsley and stir to combine.
5. Stir in Braggs, tahini, and lemon juice – at this point the mixture should start to come together and be able to hold together into balls. If not, add water 1 Tbsp at a time until it does.
6. Cover and refrigerate for a few hours or overnight for flavors to come together.
7. Preheat oven to 300. Make ¼ cup patties and place on wax paper or parchment lined baking sheet (will need two sheets or two batches). Cook for 15 minutes, turn and cook for additional 15 minutes until firm.

Greek Inspired Dressing
Yeilds ~2 Cups

1/3 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup tahini
1/3 cup water
1 clove garlic
1 tsp dried dill
Any other Greek-style herbs that strike your fancy
1 Cup Chia Gel(Grind the Chia Seeds first!)

Combine all ingredients and blend well in a blender. Is even better when it’s spent the night in the fridge!

Saturday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Cardio (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, cherries, banana, cocoa powder, flax, water)
Lunch: eggo
Dinner: Corona, a couple tortilla chips, salad with falafel, raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8 Eggplant

Yesterday was bad; today is better already :-)

girl stuff

Friday:
Exercise: Rest Day, 30 min walk with Cammie
Breakfast: that damn snack mix from yesterday, smoothie
Lunch: a couple crackers with dip
Dinner: chinese food
Fuhrmometer: 3 - Cashew

So I've never outwardly blamed my lack of weight loss in a particular week on my cycle... until now. I did mess up on Monday by eating cereal and snacking before breakfast (or did my smoothie become the snack, hmm). But until today the rest of the week has been decent. And yet this week's weight loss doesn't compare to last weeks in the least... so I'm blaming it on... it.

I guess I should have seen it coming with the urge to snack and my complete meltdown on Tuesday and been prepared for all of the fun side effects but I just wasn't. At any rate it's still been a good week with hitting the halfway point and most likely hitting the -80 mark (and a little more by Monday hopefully!), so I can't really complain.

Another not so bad thing - ever since starting ETL my cycle has become much more predictable (which I take as a sign of returning health) and I've noticed my symptoms (the moodiness and cravings and all of that stuff you see in the midol commercials) much more than I ever used to. The good thing about this that I realized this morning is that they were probably there all along but I used to feel so crappy all the time that I never really noticed a particular difference. Now that I feel good almost all the time I really notice when I'm not in a good mood or don't feel good.

It's amazing to me that I'm almost a year into Eating to Live and I'm still having these epiphanys about how bad I used to feel and how much things have improved. It's great incentive not to go back to where I was before!

dress dreaming

Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Flexibility workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)
Lunch: Springtime Soup
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad (romaine, cucumber, falafel, greek inspired dressing), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 broccoli/kale

Sometimes I think that I'm going to bring my camera into the office so that I can take pictures of the things that hang around here and sometimes tempt me. For an office where everyone is actively either trying to maintain or lose weight and/or be healthier (utilizing various methods) there seem to be a lot of sweets and other junk foods around here.

Today there was a bag of snack mix stuff in the kitchen that the vending machine guy left for us which was trying to tempt me (it didn't do a very good job). I usually alternate between being tempted by the junk to being angry that it's there to wanting to throw it all away (because it's not healthy for ANYONE is it). But today I feel like I have a grip on things and can let them (the food that is) live in their own unhealthy world while I exist happily in my healthy, getting thinner, feeling good world.

I'm going to go shopping for a dress to wear to Graduation soon and am looking forward to it much more than I probably should! I really like the Dress of the Week dress and want to go try it on, hopefully it will fit and if it doesn't I won't feel too bad about it! But anyway, the thought of that dress definitely is helping me stay on the straight and narrow - every little bit helps!

half way!

Wednesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min lower body workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Springtime Soup, apple with cinnamon
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Salad (romaine, falafel, greek inspired dressing)
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 broccoli/kale

Woo Hoo! I now officially have less to lose than I've already lost! Yeah!

This morning my boss called me into her office to see if I was ok (because of yesterday's meltdown). I said that I was much better, and she asked me if I've been running (she's a runner) I told her about how I've been going easy on my knees since I hurt my right knee in January and that I want to get down a little more before I start running so that I don't permanently damage my knees and hips, but my workouts have been good. I also told her that I hit my halfway point today. We talked about a couple of other work things and I came back to my office, do a couple of things, and check my email and this is what I see:

(To the office:)

Congratulations Nicole on reaching your Half-way to your goal milestone!!! I am so impressed with your dedication and diligence! You are an inspiration.

Great Job!!!

Luckily, only 6 other people work in my office so I was only slightly mortified! No really, it was very sweet and my co-workers are all great. Did I ever mention that my admin assistant gave me a bag of lentils for an Easter gift instead of chocolate? Yeah, that's how great these people are. It's really nice.

Thanks to all of my internet-based buddies and co-ETLers too! And of course Hubby! Without such a supportive environment who know's where I'd be? It doesn't matter because I'm here and it's awesome!

i think i'm solar powered

Tuesday:
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie, 30 min Core workout (Y!F)
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: none
Dinner: pita with hummus, salad (romaine, cucumber, falafel, greek inspired dressing), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9 Broccoli

Today was a bad day, there is so much stress at work right now and I ended up leaving early because I couldn't stay there any longer. I really wanted to give in to my urge to eat horribly bad food (pop tarts!?!) but didn't and am happy that I stuck with ETL foods.

It's funny that even though I didn't eat bad stuff today just thinking about it before makes me feel now like I cheated. I don't know why that is; but I guess it's another step in transitioning to making this "diet" into an actual lifestyle. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner) I'll feel about junk food the way I feel about eating meat - that is, have no desire to!