Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, water)

It’s just disgusting. It’s got to stop. Eating processed, prepared, dairy/salt/oil/sugar laden foods that is. I’ve had enough of being involuntarily drawn to their evil effects and I’m done.

Yesterday I would classify as a binge. I had one tiny bite of that sweet either pumpkin or orange bread with chocolate chips in it and it was like a switch was flipped and I had to have more. It was the same thing with the chips and salsa – which in theory aren’t too bad but contained way way way too much salt and oil I’m sure and made me feel really ill after eating them. I scolded myself for not eating my soup which I had brought for lunch and I know would have made me feel good instead of feeling like I wanted to vomit. I did not like myself much yesterday.

Today those same foods are available. Today I am just as busy (if not busier) than I was yesterday. Today I’m not going to eat that crap. I’m not going to tomorrow either. It’s just not worth it. I’ve got perfectly tasty food of my own to eat which I know will make me feel good and feel good about myself too.

I know that there will be times when I will choose and plan to eat “off plan” foods; but it’s more of an issue of control than anything else. Yesterday I felt like the choices I was making were out of my own conscious control and that totally sucks. I know that if I plan something ahead and am in full control of it I will make better decisions about what to eat and won’t feel as psychologically bad about it and won’t adopt the “screw it” mentality.

But for now and for 98% of the time I’m sticking to ETL friendly food only. There’s no other way to do it when considering that if I don’t I’m hurting myself in more ways than one.