i'm not perfect

Thursday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Wrap from HFS
Dinner: veggie chili
Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Dinner: Chili, small bowl of salt-free potato chips
Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Saturday:
Breakfast: 2 slices whole grain toast
Dinner: Dr. Fuhrman's Famous Anti-Cancer Soup
Exercise: 60 min treadmill


Well, the past few days have been far from perfect. Thursday I rethought my self-imposed embargo with the HFS wrap section and had one for lunch. I decided that it was too much for me to try to stay away; and that if I end up having one meal off plan every week it will help me to feel less deprived and if I can get to a place where I am near-perfect for the rest of the week then that won't be so bad. I do feel kind of bad that I went back on my word about the whole thing; but feel relief from trying so hard to be perfect and am comfortable with knowing that I will allow myself a little leeway.

Today I made Dr. Fuhrman's Famous Anti-Cancer Soup, this is something I've wanted to make since starting ETL and I'm glad I finally did! It's very easy to make, the cashews give it a very rich and slightly sweet flavor, and overall it's got a great fall-like soup thing going on. Hubby really had fun juicing the celery and carrots and blending the soup, so all in all this soup is chock full of wholesome family goodness.

My notes on the recipe: I ladeled 3 ladle fulls (I'd guess about 2 to 3 cups) of the soup over 1 cup of cooked lentils, since I only had 8 cups of cooked lentils I froze about half of the soup for later. I'm thinking it will make about 15 to 16 servings overall. I substituted some so-salt seasoning blend for the VegiZest and cooked up some lentils on the side so I could have a whole serving of beans with the soup. I didn't use the TVP, but next time I think I will give it a try (I did add some cremini mushrooms - next time I would add more). When I went to heat up the soup for dinner I put some frozen veggies in it and popped the whole thing in the microwave to heat up the soup and defrost/steam the veggies. It came out perfectly.

I hope tomorrow's weigh-in is decent. I'm kind of worried that it will take me forever to get out of the 240's because this is the lowest I've been (ick!) in a long time. I know that it will feel great when I get into the 230's because I really will be in territory that I haven't seen since I was in my early college days. No matter what, I'm not going to give up. I am determined to be a success story!

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: salad with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: rest day

Fuhrmometer Reading: Eggplant

Well I've successfully incorporated some veggies into all of my daily meals. I'm up to 5oz of spinach in my smoothies, which comes out to about 25% of all of the ingredients. Today I was thinking to myself... now should I be adding in fruit somewhere else in my day?

I think the answer is yes. I could easily have an apple with lunch or as an after dinner sweet treat and I think I would be better off for it. At least nutritionally. But I wonder if I really need the added sugars or if really need the added calories. I don't know. I guess the best I can do is give it a try and see how my body responds.

The yoga I did yesterday really worked me out! My legs have been sore today like they haven't been in a few weeks... it feels good; feels like things are happening. Plus doing the yoga really helped calm me down. I'm thinking of trying to get up in the morning and do some yoga in the morning to wake up and start the day in a peaceful and relaxed state. I say this now but when my alarm goes off I can see me choosing more sleep over yoga. But then again; I've come so far. I never thought that I'd be able to change my diet like I have or become so focused and faithful in my other workouts... Maybe I can do it. :-)

Well since today is a rest day... I'm going to go back to just that and enjoy some nice brainless television. :-)

a lentil kind of day

Today's Food:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: salad with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: Namaste Yoga (television show), 30 min treadmill

Fuhrmometer Reading: Lentil

Well hubby saved me today from a much lower Fuhrmometer reading and a steak dinner. I really really wanted to go get a wrap from the HFS and he talked me out of it. Well... he used my words and promises (posted here) to talk me out of it. But mostly it was his convincing threats that he would actually make me eat steak if I gave in and got a wrap. I didn't have one and am steak-free! Woo hoo! Thanks sweetie!

The reason that the Fuhrmometer went down from yesterday is that I did succumb to the cake in the fridge at work. I had a very small piece... just a few bites, which I ended up regretting because I ate it and didn't really take the time to savor it so before I knew it my tiny piece of cake was gone. THEN I wanted to go back for more, I definitely regret ever having any in the first place.

BUT - a factor that saved me from doom today is that I was planning on a light workout day today and ended up doing more than I thought. I had decided to do a few of the workout tv shows that were on as a change of pace, but after doing yoga I felt so much better that I went down to the basement and jumped on the treadmill. I can feel already that my arms, shoulders, and back got a great workout from the yoga. It felt really good.

So all in all an ok day. If I didn't have the cake I would have been much happier with myself. To an extent it was an emotional eating type of thing. I have been letting stress and conflict get to me much too much lately and need to figure out how to deal with things in a more constructive way. I need to do some brainstorming on this subject...

The Fuhrmometer

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended green soup (two bowls!)

Exercise: 45 min bike

Fuhrmometer Reading: broccoli

What is a Fuhrmometer (say it like thermometer)? It's something that I "invented" on the way home from work today when I was thinking about a way to gauge how close I stick to ETL. The ratings are taken from Dr. F's list/ratings of nutrient density (page 120 - 121 in ETL):

These numbers are my rankings and not the actual Nutrient Densities of the listed foods, they are in the proper order of nutrient density.
10 - Raw Leafy Vegetables = Kale (Perfect Day)
9 - Solid Green Vegetables = Broccoli
8 - Non-green Non- leafy veggies = Eggplant
7 - Beans and Legumes = Lentil
6 - Fresh Fruit = Blueberry
5 - Starchy Vegetables = Potato
4 - Whole Grains = Brown Rice
3 - Raw Nuts & Seeds = Cashew
2 - Meats & Dairy = Cheese
1 - Refined Foods & Sweets = Cookie (Totally Off Plan Junk Food Day)

Ok so today I gave myself "broccoli" a 9/10. I did very good today, everything I ate was on plan. I'm not sure about the second bowl of soup at dinner. I guess technically there was nothing wrong with going back for more, but it's not something that I'd like to see turn into a habit.

There was birthday cake at work today. I'm extremely happy to report that I didn't have ANY! Not one bite! And the thought did cross my mind to have "just a bite" but then I did think to myself how much I want to be perfect and that this wasn't a planned departure. After that; it wasn't tough to say no to the cake. AND - as a reward for it - our librarian (who I don't see very much) noticed that I've been losing weight... she asked me if I'd lost some weight and I just said "yes" and my admin assistant chimed in and said "a lot" or something like that... it felt good.

A big "You can do it!" goes out to my friend over at I Am Curious Vegan who is re-starting ETL today! (Tried to leave you a comment but blogger wouldn't let me!)

talk about anticlimactic

Today's Food:
Breakfast: toast, nutty buddy
Lunch/Dinner: pasta with parmesan cheese

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill



Well I ate like s&*^ today.

It's not because I'm upset about my less than stellar weigh-in. I am happy that I at least lost something this week; and I know that the weight will come off with time. I spent the day thinking about this pattern that I have of losing a bunch one week and then losing not a bunch the next week. I came to the miraculous ephipany (note sarcasm here)that it's all about what I eat. I'm willing to bet that if I were able to consistently stick with the plan and not let myself eat meals off plan then my weight loss would be much more consistent.

So why can't I eat OP consistently? I'm not sure, but I think I've become cocky. Thinking that I can get away with eating some "normal" food and still lose lots of weight. This line of thinking is obviously crap. I need to really commit to not eating off plan unless it is planned in advance. I want to be able to commit to this; very very very much but am worried that in the heat of the moment when I am really hungry or have had a stressful day that I'll just say "screw it" and eat what I want to. If only at that moment I could stop myself and realize that I WILL REGRET IT on weigh day.

Well the past is the past and all that I have control over is now. I'm going to do my best to stick to the plan this week. I think it's going to be about eating my planned meal when I am hungry and not letting my huger drag on and on until I am so ravenous I switch into "screw it" mode. It's also going to be about not letting stress get to me and making me switch into "screw it" mode either. I think I'll really be on to something if I can master these things.

Saturday

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: salad
Dinner: blended greens soup with some added broccoli and cauliflower florets, small bowl of low sodium potato chips

Exercise: 60 min bike, 35 min treadmill

Ok, let me just say that my first thought is to talk about tomorrow's weigh in right now... but I'm not going to. I'm just not going to say any more on the subject.

On a completely unrelated note... I'd like to send my thoughts out to Richard Hammond, host of the best car show on television Top Gear. Hammond was recently injured while filming a segment for the show in which he was driving a jet car at approximately 300 mph. Reports are that he is recovering and has been moved out of intensive care. Hubby and I love the show (did you know we're car nuts?) and send Richard and his family our best, most positive thoughts.

And finally... if you haven't done so already you should really watch OK Go dance in the treadmills:
OK Go - Here It Goes Again
I tried to embed this but just can't figure it out right now... someday!

The Smoothie

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: 45 min bike, 45 min treadmill

At the request of K.M. here is my current smoothie recipe:

I use a digital kitchen scale to weigh everything so that each smoothie is roughly the same.

4 oz frozen spinach
1 banana (this should make the total weight between 8 and 10 oz)
frozen strawberries - add until total weight is 15 oz
5 oz frozen blueberries (about 1 cup)

For my smoothie kits I put all of these things in a reusable Gladware (or similar) container and keep them in the freezer. I also have small bottles of water that I refill and keep in the fridge. They are the smaller Poland Spring bottles and it comes out to about 20 oz or 2½ cups. I dump the water in the VitaMix, put in 1 Tbsp of Flaxseed Meal (I get Bob's Red Mill), and then the fruit. If I'm looking for a more liquidy texture in the smoothie (rather than frozen and slushy) I toss the fruit in the microwave for a minute to thaw... they're still very frozen though.

Why these fruits? Well... first of all because I like them, but secondly Dr. F reccommends berries especially for people who are trying to lose weight... or so I remember. Spinach is among the most nutrient dense foods that you can have. Bananas lend a great texture and sweetness to the smoothie and the flax has all of those great Omega 3 Fatty Acids... although I can't remember exactly what they do at the moment...

Before I got brave enough to add spinach; I used to make my smoothie this way:
1 banana
9-10 oz frozen strawberries
5 oz frozen blueberries (about 1 cup)
1 Tbsp flaxseed meal
~2 cups water

And in the very beginning I used to make my smoothies like this:
1 banana
1 cup blueberries
Strawberries (I can't remember how much)
1 Tbs flaxseed meal
1 cup Soy Milk (I like the unsweetened Westsoy - it's just soybeans and filtered water)
1 cup water - or more if needed

I cut out the soy milk because I found that I didn't mind the smoothies without it; plus it's added fat and calories that I didn't really need. It does add an extra creaminess and is a good thing to use when getting used to drinking smoothies. The addition of the spinach has cut down on the sweetness of the overall smoothie but it's true what everyone says - you really can't taste it!

All of my measurements (especially the most recent ones) are tailored to fill up a Nalgene bottle, which when filled up to the very top will hold 40 oz of liquid, without there being any extra. So it breaks down to be about 20 fluid oz of water and 20 oz by weight of fruit to end up with 40 oz of smoothie. The kits and water bottles are a huge time saver in the morning; which is especially great for me because I am so NOT a morning person!

anything you can do i can do better

Today's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with blood orange vinegar, peanut butter
Dinner: blended greens soup



Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

So I've spent the last 2 hours glued to the Biggest Loser on tv. Interesting and thought-provoking stuff!

I've never watched a whole episode before. Probably because it used to be a show about people who were doing something about getting fit and healthy; something that I wasn't doing. A pretty good marker of how low my self-esteem used to be, and also just how much I didn't want to face or think about my weight and what I needed to do about it.

But now, that I am committed to getting healthy... naturally I find the show fascinating. I also envy those people that get to spend their days working out instead of working and having to keep house. Wouldn't it be nice to get to live like that? No responsibilities but to yourself? With a trainer to work you out and coach you along the way... yeah... I'll bet I could lose 12 or 14 pounds in a week if I had those luxuries too!

On the flipside... I realize that I don't need a television show to get into shape. Sure the incentives and prizes sound nice, but I'm doing pretty well on my own. I think that to an extent those of us who are losing weight and exercising out "here" by ourselves have an edge over people who feel that they need a television show to lose weight. We have INTERNAL motivation; something that won't go away after a television show is over. I think we've got the edge, and we're the ones that are going to achieve our goals, maintain our weight loss, and be the true success stories.

All said, I'm rooting for that woman from Rhode Island... she's not one of the 14 in the house; but I hope she does well on her own so she can come back :-)

the pithy yet amusing title - of a sandwich

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic
Dinner: nuked potato, blended greens soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

My local health food store (HFS) is really cool. I don't have a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's but what I do have is a local natural foods store that has commercials with people dressed up like the fruit of the loom people and a cute little doggy. The prepared food that they sell in their deli section comes with funny little titles on them that are always changing. One week my favorite wrap will be called "Mr. Bigglesworth Sets Off for Nova Scotia" and the next week it will be called "Ladies and Gentlemen, start your engines"... you just never know and it adds some entertainment to your meal. A very cool HFS.

The bad thing? I have become obsessed with these wraps. They are so good and the HFS is so close to work that I actually found myself wishing the other day that I could get lunch there every day. I think about the wraps every day when I start getting hungry for lunch and don't want to eat my salad. Luckily, I've managed to restrict myself to only going once a week but I know it's not good for me. The excess sodium in the wraps has been known to give me headaches... Yet I still go back for more! Why do I do this? As I said the other day, I've become very accustomed to NOT having headaches anymore. I've got to break this addiction...

So what did I do? I made a pledge to myself (backed up by hubby) that I will only go to the HFS to buy food that I need to make recipes that I can't buy at the regular grocery store or at BJ's and when I do I will give hubby the receipt to show exactly what I bought. What are the consequences if I break my promise? I will eat a piece of hubby's steak. This is a very strong motivating factor for me because I'd rather get hit by a train rather than eat a piece of steak. YUCK.

Maybe every once in a while I can indulge in this as a treat... but definitely not for a long time until I've done something to earn it.

Has anyone else out there developed any new or different food obsessions since starting a trek to health, fitness and weight loss? How do you deal with these obsessions?

The Numbers Game

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: wrap from the HFS
Dinner: blended green soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

So lets talk numbers:

298.6 - That's what I weighed when I started ETL. Before I made the decision to start ETL I don't think I had ever stepped on our scale. I just didn't want to know. I knew I felt like crap and I looked like crap... I didn't need the scale to confirm that for me.

At first I was so ashamed of how much I weighed that I didn't want to post it here. I didn't even tell hubby how much I weighed. I just didn't want anyone to know; which is silly because it's not like anyone would look at me and NOT know that I could stand to lose some major poundage. Now, after reading the weight loss blogs of many others I realize that it's part of the deal. It helps you to identify with someone; maybe feel better about yourself... especially if you've got less to lose!

158.6 - That's how much I'd like to lose. It's a lot... as of today I still have 108.6 left to go. But as I said yesterday, I know I am going to make it there. I believe it at such a fundamental level that there is no "if's" or "i hope's" about it.

240(ish) - About my lowest adult weight... I don't really know how much I weighed when I was a senior in high school or when I was a freshman or sophomore in college... I went on a big health kick in my senior year of undergraduate study which I kept up through grad school. When I met my hubby as near as I can guess I was in the 240 to 250 range. (Which is where I am now... kinda cool!)

136 to 140 - That's my goal weight. It's in the middle of the reccommended range for someone of my height (5'6"). So I feel that it is a reasonable target for someone who has been 200lbs plus since middle school. When I get there I will re-evaluate my goals... we shall see.

120 - That's Dr. Fuhrman's ideal weight for someone of my height. I think that this is too thin for me; and many people out there that are also ETLing feel that these goals are a little bit ambitous as well...

3.5 - The number of pounds I'd like to lose per week in the next few weeks to reach my Boston goal. ;-)

Milestone!

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: baked potato
Dinner: blended greens soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Woo hoo! I'm down 50 pounds! I can't express how happy I am to have found Eat to Live, and that it is working so well for me. I only wish that I had heard about it earlier so that I could have made this change in my life a long time ago. But really there are no worries, the past is the past and all we can do is make positive changes for a better future right?

50 pounds makes a lot of difference on a body! The two areas in which I am noticing the most difference are in my clothes and in my workouts. When I started ETL I had clothes that just barely fit me because I was too stubborn to buy a larger size. I had pants that I had to stuff myself into and could barely close. Now? Those same pants that I could barely fit into are getting baggy and I have other pants which are just plain too big now. I am now wearing pants that I've kept out of sight in a closet full of clothes that I couldn't wear before (I can fit into pretty much everything in that closet now!). My workouts have vastly improved too... when I started working out after not regularly working out for almost 2 years (ick!) I was happy to make it 30 minutes on the treadmill at a measly 2.5 miles per hour and a 0.5% incline. These days my workouts are an hour long and the treadmill is set to at least 3.0 miles per hour and a 3% incline with some jogging, which I tackle after a very rigorous workout on the bike. To me, that is a HUGE change.















I used to read those fitness magazines with the success stories where people would say things like "the weight just melted off" and felt so envious/wanted to kick those people. Good for you! I'd think... what was their secret and why wasn't I clued in? Maybe I just wasn't one of those people who was supposed to have success in losing weight. Well, I know now that everyone can have sucess in losing weight if they really want to and put in the effort. It's not easy; the pounds don't just melt away, but the most important thing is that everyone CAN do it if they really want to!

Now don't think that I've gotten all ahead of myself or anything, I know I still have a long way to go. But I feel with such certainty that I can make it to my goal that I'm not upset by the fact that I'm still just under 30% of the way there. It doesn't matter at all... I've built the foundation for success and I know I can make it. I'm not just hoping that I will get there or thinking in the back of my mind that for some reason it won't work for me, because I know that it will. It's all a matter of eating on plan and exercising... two things that get easier and easier to stick with all the time.

Dr. Fuhrman should do an infomercial or something...

M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: wrap from HFS
Dinner: broccoli & cauliflower, no salt potato chips

Exercise: rest day

Hi, sorry it's been so long. If you blog with blogger and have upgraded to the new blogger beta; you know what a headache it can be. I haven't been able to sign in since Monday. I wasn't itentionally neglecting my blogging duties (and I wasn't cheating on the diet... well until today). If you blog and haven't upgraded to beta yet... wait... it's just not worth it right now. There are still too many bugs in the system.

So I found out today that I'll be going to a conference (I work in Higher Ed... it's what we do) in November. It's the first time that I've ever gotten to travel anywhere to go to a conference and it's in Boston, a city that I've never been to! I have some good friends that live there that I haven't seen since my wedding so that makes it for triple excitement. It also kicks in my motivation... I hope to be down another 25 - 30 pounds before I go so that I can feel really good about myself.

So this Sunday we'll see what I need to shoot for as a weekly loss to make my newest goal. I'm thinking it will be about 3.5 pounds a week; which I think I can do.

One last parting thought... an exchange between me and hubby earlier today:
"I'm kinda getting tired of this diet."
"But are you getting tired of the results?"
"Nope!"
"Well there you go!"
"I know."

Holy Cow!

Wednesday's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie

Lunch: romaine with Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar

Dinner: Blended Green Soup

Exercise: 31 minutes treadmill, 30 minutes bike

I have never been a fan of vinegar. The smell and the taste have never been something that I could stomach. When I was first researching and reading about Eat to Live, I was a bit concerned/discouraged that Dr. F had such an emphasis on vinegars as flavoring agents. Luckily Green Velvet salad dressing was one of the salad dressings that I first tried and really liked and adapted into the Green Velour.

Well this week I had run out of Green Velour and forgot to make more before going to work on Wednesday. On my way out the door I grabbed the Pomegranate Balsamic Vinegar that I've had in the cupboard for over 3 months and figured I'd give it a try on my salad at lunch.

At first, it looks and smells like regulat balsamic vinegar... but after a few bites of salad the sweet fruity pomegranate flavor came out. IT WAS REALLY GOOD! I couldn't believe that I liked it so much and devoured my romaine dressed in only the vinegar.

The moral of the story? If you have a past history with vinegar that is less than favorable, give the Cuisine Perel's (the company that manufactures Dr. F's vinegars) vinegars a try. If the rest of the vinegars are as non-vinegary as the Pomegranate Balsamic; you'll be very pleasantly surprised.

The same goes for kale and collards! I'd never tried them before I made this week's soup and they are very good as well :-) Just goes to show that we should all try something new and not be hedged in by preconcieved notions or fear of leaving our comfort zone.

Tuesday

Today's Food:

Breakfast: smoothie

Lunch: Romaine with Green Velour

Dinner: Blended Green Soup

Exercise: 40 min bike, 32 min treadmill

So I have been trying to get in as many of those super healthy cruciferous veggies into my diet. I've started (finally) putting spinach in my smoothies. Right now I'm only at 2 ounces of frozen spinach per smoothie, which is about 10% by volume of the "stuff" that I put in my smoothies - not counting the water. I plan on working up to 5 ounces per smoothie, which will be 25%.

The Blended Green Soup is EXCELLENT! I highly reccommend it. One thing though, you really do need a very very big pot to cook it in, all of those whole raw leafies take up a lot of space until they're wilted. I've been sprinkling some Braggs Liquid Aminos on the top of it to give it a little bit of saltiness; I really like the flavor that it adds.

Recipe Time

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with green velour
Dinner: blended green soup

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Blended Green Soup
by Shelly E on Dr. Fuhrman's Member Center

6 cups water
1 to 1 1/2 cups of dried beans or green lentils (3 cups when cooked)
1 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 heaping TBS of dried parsley
1 heaping tsp of dried basil
1 heaping tsp of dried sage
1 heaping tsp of dried chervil
1 cup carrots, chopped
2 cups celery, chopped
3-4 zucchinis (chop ends but leave whole)
1 head of cabbage (left mostly whole but cored)
1 bunch of collards (remove thick stem but leave whole)
1 bunch of kale (remove thick stem, leave whole)
1 bunch of broccoli (cut off thick stem again, but leave whole)
1 cup frozen green peas (thawed)
1 cup frozen chopped green beans (thawed)
1 cup frozen corn
1 28 oz can of diced tomatoes (no salt added) I pulse it in my blender first to "spread out" the tomato taste.
1 package of broccoli sprouts (optional, lends a different flavor)

Cook beans (soaked overnight if necessary) in water till tender. Drain and reserve water. Put beans aside. In a VERY large pot add: water from the cooked beans, onion, garlic, seasonings, carrots, celery. Then add the bigger uncut whole vegetables: Cabbage, broccoli, zucchinis, and collards/ kale (broccoli sprouts if using) on top. Simmer until vegetables are tender, about45-60 minutes. Then ladle some of the water from the bottom and blend all the greens up in small batches in a blender. Use some of the liquid from the canned diced tomatoes if need be. Place all back in the pot and then add diced tomatoes, green peas, green beans, and corn and cook till they are tender, about another 15-20 minutes. Add cooked beans.

Nicole's changes: I cooked a whole 1 pound bag of green lentils for this and portioned them out into 1 cup servings and ladled the cooked soup over the top. I added a little bit of black pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, and omitted the green peas ('cause I don't like them) and added a whole bag of frozen green beans. I didn't bother to heat the soup after blending the greens and adding in the tomatoes, corn, and green beans.

The blended greens came out very thick and hearty. The taste is very fresh and healthy and tasty! The recipe made 7+ servings for me. Very good!

"thank god you're not a cowboy, 'cause the cowboy way is even harder"

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Dinner: chili

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Ok so yesterday was the official start of my re-commitment to Dr. Fuhrman's 6 week plan/challenge. I'm going to do my best to stick with it until our first anniversary in just under six weeks (cough cough... hubby: get me jewelry! cough cough). I feel like this was just what I needed; a new challenge to keep myself accountable... along with all of the good feelings of sticking with my plan and knowing the guilt and shame I will feel if I let myself down.

Like today, I misjudged my day and my meals and didn't really have any lunch. I had plans to go out shopping for plants to re-landscape on the front of our house with my mom; and I knew that I had to get laundry done and work out and take a shower before I left the house. So... I sucked down my smoothie as quickly as I could in between doing loads of laundry and then I did my workout, jumped in the shower, got dressed and left. By the time I got home I was so hungry I just wanted to make a bag of popcorn and call that dinner... but I knew that I'd be failing myself and that that bag of popcorn wasn't going to do anything positive for me and my weight loss goals. I'm so happy that I had the chili and stayed on plan.

Speaking of cheating... despite eating crap pretty much all week last week (some days were better than others) I ended up losing 3.6 pounds. Not too shabby. I think that these 3 months that I have been on ETL have really changed not only the way that my body responds to food but also the way that I think of it. I think that the mental process and my commitment to exercise has helped me not gain anything these past 2 weeks and actually lose 4+ pounds. Don't get me wrong, I know that if I have a good week with Eat to Live and exercise that I can lose even more than that and I don't plan on making eating off plan foods every day a habit; even when I reach my goal weight.

I have been enjoying clothes out of "the skinny closet" lately... all of the clothes I had put away because I didn't like the way that they fit anymore. It is so much fun to think, "I don't know what I'm going to wear today... let's see what is in the skinny closet" and then go in there and actually be able to wear the clothes that are in there! It's awesome that I can look at those clothes and think that these are clothes that aren't off limits to me anymore. If they don't fit me right now, the will soon! I know it's kind of materialistic; but it makes me so happy! Yesterday I pulled out a pair of jeans that I had to put in there a while ago because they were too tight and very uncomfortable to wear. Well now they are mighty comfortable! When I've lost enough weight that these clothes are too big for me we're going to have to buy some new ones, which is exciting but also annoying because I know I won't wear them long enough to get a decent amount of money's worth out of them. I think I'll have to get by with clothes from Old Navy and the clearance racks for a while. That's a little way off though; but not such a bad thing!

Resolution

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie (with spinach!)
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds
Dinner: veggie burger with lettuce and tomato on a whole grain role, a few french fries w/ ketchup

Exercise: rest day

Getting back on track is much harder than I thought it would be! Except for the other night when I had a headache and couldn't sleep I don't think I'm really having serious detox symptoms or anything... but at the same time I haven't had a perfect ETL day all week. I think that beginning this Saturday I am going to start a new six week challenge and not allow myself any cheating until my anniversary, which is actually five weeks away, but if I had said five week challenge it just wouldn't have been the same...

What is the six week challenge/plan? Here's the breakdown (as posted on FatFreeVegan):

Eat to Live 6-Week Plan

UNLIMITED (eat as much as you want):
all raw vegetables, including raw carrots (goal: 1 lb. daily)
cooked green vegetables (goal 1 lb. daily)
beans, legumes, bean sprouts, or *tofu (minimum 1 cup daily in total of these)
fresh fruit (at least 4 daily).
eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomato and other non-starchy vegetables, cooked and raw (unlimited)
*Beans should be eaten daily; tofu should be eaten less frequently.

LIMITED (not more than one serving):
cooked starchy vegetables OR whole grains--Maximum 1 cup per day (butternut or acorn squash, corn, sweet potato, brown rice, cooked carrots, whole grain breads*, whole grain cereals*)
raw nuts and seeds (1 oz. or 28.5 grams a day) or 2 ounces avocado
ground flaxseed (1 tablespoon a day)
soymilk, low-sugar preferred--Maximum 1 cup a day*avoid breads and cereals as much as possible

OFF-LIMITS:
dairy products
animal products
between meal snacks
fruit juice, dried fruits
salt, sugar

There you have it; the last time (well it was the first time too) I tried to stick to the plan I lost about 25 pounds in 5 weeks and my workouts weren't as strenuous or lengthy as they are now; so I think that I can do it. Also, last time I made it about 2 weeks before giving in and going off plan; this time my goal is to stay completely on plan the whole time. Hopefully it will stick :-)

being fat and trying not to be

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds and some strawberries and grapes (fruit not in the salad)
Dinner: cheese bread and butter

Exercise: 30 min bike, 20 min treadmill

Today my co-workers surprised me with birthday fruit salad (instead of cake) it was very thoughtful of them and very tasty as well. While we were all in the kitchen the subject of my diet inevitably came up and someone asked how much weight I've lost since starting the diet nearly 3 months ago.

"As of the last time I weighed myself, 41 pounds." I said.

And they broke out into a round of applause. Applause!? I felt so self conscious. I'm not really sure why, I guess I should feel proud of what I've accomplished... but I just felt uncomfortable. Maybe it's just because I never really like to be the center of attention; maybe it's because my weight is still a very sensitive and personal thing for me... I don't know.

I've noticed that since beginning to lose weight my attitude toward myself has changed quite a bit. I regard myself not so much as an overweight person but as someone who is into being healthy and active. Maybe I've jumped the gun a little bit...

The other day when Hubby and I were at the Home Depot there was a guy who was waiting for some help in the same aisle as we were trying to pick out some new things for our bathroom. He was an older man who for some reason felt that it was necessary to make friends with Hubby and I, trying to give us advice about what we should and shouldn't get and so on.

Hubby went down the aisle to grab one of those rolling stairs thingies to get something off a shelf that was a little too high for us to reach. I know, he's such a rebel climbing on those Employee Only stairs (hehe). And our new friend looked at me and said something along the lines of; "The world isn't just friendly for big people like us." I just looked at him and smiled and walked away so that he wouldn't feel the need to talk to me anymore but in my head I was thinking "US? I don't think so buddy... not me I'm not going to be 'big like you' for long, I'm well on my way to skinnydom."

But homeboy's comment stuck with me... I'm definitely not thin (I know this). Many people probably look at me and think that I am rather large. I guess the important thing to remember despite these kind of embarrassing/discouraging experiences is that I have come a long way and that losing 41 pounds is nothing to sneeze at! I just need to work on maintaining the state of mind that I am in the middle of a process which still has a long way to go and am not yet able to reap the benefits of reaching my overall goals. I can think I'm thin when I actually am.

monday? tuesday...

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds
Dinner: chili, french bread

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill

Last night I learned that ice cream is not my friend... in fact it is my enemy. Well no; it's probably no worse to me than a casual acquaintance but since it was the last thing that I ate yesterday it's what I attributed my lack of being able to go to sleep and my annoyingly persistent headache to. I ended up not falling asleep until 2:30 or later. Not fun.

It's detox... and it sucks. I'd gotten so used to not having cravings or headaches nearly as much as I used to before starting ETL. Something else that I had really gotten used to was being able to go to sleep with relative ease. Before starting ETL I frequently had a really hard time falling asleep and since I started to eat better and work out falling asleep has been much much easier. Maybe it is due to cutting out the refined sugar... bringing me back to the ice cream... hmm.

Today was a better day. No ice cream tonight! Tomorrow's goal is no bread and I should be back on track 100%. I've learned that I can occasionally go off plan for one meal; but much more than that is more than I want to handle.

getting back to normal

Today's Food:

Lunch: romaine, Green Velour, sunflower seeds

Dinner: chili, piece of french bread

Dessert: chocolate ice cream (small portion)

Exercise: 30 min bike, 30 min treadmill, 15 min arms

Today was a busy day around the house; hubby and I did a couple little do-it-yourself projects and I also did some chores etc. I stayed pretty active throughout the day and had a great workout. I know the bread and ice cream aren't exactly nutritional powerhouses but I did much better today than I have in the past week so I can live with it.

Tomorrow is back to work and the real regular routine. I'm stressed out about going back to work already; I've got to figure out an effective way to deal with work-related stress... Something I'll have to look into.

one year older

Hi everybody! How was your week? Mine was good; I'm certainly happy to be home. Despite all of my planning and preparation, I didn't really stick to ETL while on vacation. I did have some smoothies and salads and ate the dinners I took with me a few nights, but I also allowed myself to have some non-ETL foods as well. I realized that my willpower isn't very strong; I definitely do much better when the food isn't there to tempt me in the first place. Oh well, it was a nice little break. I did get a few workouts in during the week and also managed actually lose .6 pounds this past week, which brings me to a total of -41 pounds!

I am thrilled with this because I was very worried that I would end up gaining this past week and really didn't want to have to deal with losing the same pounds over again. I know that at some point I'll probably have to deal with gaining and re-losing some pounds, but I'd like to deal with that when I'm closer to my goal weight.

I missed my goal of being at -50 pounds by my birthday but it's ok. I am feeling good and wearing clothes that I hadn't been able to wear before. I'm still going to work on hitting my goal to fit into my Tommy Hilfiger pants (never worn, still have tags on them) and baby blue silk shirt for our 1st anniversary in about 6 weeks.

So starting tomorrow morning it's back to normal; eating ETL as close to 100% as I can and exercising at least 6 days a week. I'm actually excited to be getting back to what's become my normal routine. I'm also happy that I gave myself a little bit of a break; it's renewed my motivation and also has shown me how easy eating on plan and exercising has become. Without even realizing it eating for nutritional excellence and being more active have become my lifestyle; how great!