avoiding doom

Unfortunately; we can't live in a world devoid of temptation. I think that things would be a lot easier if we could. But before I digress and begin philosophizing about morals and the like; I'll refine my original statement.

It's too bad that we can't live in a world where all food is good, healthy, nutritionally excellent food.

I am a big supporter of people deciding what they want to eat on their own. I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me that I should eat meat and animal products and likewise I don't push people to Eat to Live. Sure life would be easier if the people around me ate more like I do; but that's also a two-way street. The point is, I've made a decision to eat as naturally and nutritiously as possible and I have to learn to live with the fact that there is food around me that I shouldn't eat and condition myself not to want to eat it.

There are times when I'll give in and eat something that I shouldn't and afterward I can just feel that the food was basically a hollow nutritional wasteland. There are times when I've given in and had that first bite of something and instantly regretted it. There are times when that first bite triggers a landslide of bad eating and the "screw it" mentality.

Yesterday I had one of those days where the first bite led to my downfall. I didn't eat too horribly but I know I could have had a much better day if I didn't have that first bite. I know that eating off-plan food will make me feel guilty and regretful and not help my weight loss at all and I have to keep remembering that every time I pass the candy dish in the hallway at work, or every time I walk into the office kitchen and see sweets and crackers and whatever staring back at me.

Recently, over at at Half of Me (a FANTASTIC weight-loss blog); PQ wrote about how smokers can quit smoking completely and alcoholics avoid alcohol completely but everyone always has to eat - no matter if one is addicted to food or not (go read the post). I am often in a state of mind these days where I wish that I didn't enjoy or care about food and truly just ate to satisfy my biological nutritional needs. I often wish that I don't want to eat for stress relief or enjoyment or any of that horrible stuff but I do - and it's much more mental than physical - it's the enjoyment of sitting down to eat dinner with hubby and sharing a meal (the same food) once in a while and that feeling of "normal." This is a big thing that I'll need to work on.

For now, I'm going to work on NOT taking that first bite and remembering the doom that will follow from taking that first bite before it happens. I'll have so many more good, no, AWESOME days if I can pull this off. It wasn't easy when I first went vegetarian almost 10 years ago; but over time my resolve not to eat meat has grown and strengthened, and a big factor in that was not breaking down and eating that chicken sandwich or whatever it was that tempted me. That resolve paid off and here I am, these days I wouldn't eat a steak if you paid me. I think that with time, persistence, and NOT taking that first bite I'll be able to do the same with ETL.


PS The image is of the top of our wedding cake, our 1.5 year anniversary/ 2 year homeowning anniversary is this Saturday. Hard to believe! ;-)

Even though it's been snowing (YUCK!) here and I haven't felt too good for the past few days; I made a lot of spring-timey food for the upcoming week. I made Dr. Fuhrman's Tasty Hummus, Whole Wheat Pitas, and Springtime Soup.

The most fun thing that we made (hubby helped) were the pitas. They were also surprisingly easy to make. I got this recipe at AllRecipes and used King Arthur White Whole Wheat flour instead of white flour to keep it whole grain. We also used applesauce instead of oil to make it fat-free. Next time I make these I will cut the salt in half or eliminate it completely. I'll also will experiment with cutting down on the sugar - although I don't think that I can cut it out completely because the yeast needs a little sugar, doesn't it? I also want to experiment with mixing in other types of flour or adding in flax.

But most importantly, the tastiest thing that I made this weekend is the soup. Hubby got Nava Atlas' Vegetarian Soups for All Seasons: Bountiful Vegan Soups and Stews for Every Time of Year for me back at Christmas time and I haven't had a chance to cook anything out of it until now. The soup I made today I adapted from her recipe for Greek-Flavored Spinach and Orzo Soup. I doubled the recipe since soup is an entire meal for me and cut out the oil. I substituted pearl barley for the orzo because I'd rather have a whole grains than the pasta, used (a lot) more spinach than called for in the original recipe and added artichokes. Here's the recipe as I made it:

Springtime Soup

Adapted from Greek-Flavored Spinach and Orzo Soup by Nava Atlas

2 C cleaned & sliced leek
6-10 cloves garlic, minced
1 large red bell pepper, diced
12 cups water with 4 cubes salt-free vegan bouillon (or equal amount of light flavored veggie broth)
2 cans salt-free tomatoes, briefly buzzed in blender or food processor
2 9oz boxes frozen artichokes
1 cup pearl barley
2 tsp dill
2 1-lb bags frozen spinach
1 small bunch flat-leaf parsley, coarsely chopped
1 C lemon juice

1. Water-sauté leeks, garlic, and red bell pepper until softened; about 5 minutes.
2. Add water, bouillon, tomatoes, barley, dill, and frozen artichokes. Cover and bring to simmer for 30-40 minutes until barley is slightly chewy.
3. When soup is almost done simmering, portion spinach out into containers. (Do this only if making meals ahead, if not stir spinach into soup before serving).
4. Stir in parsley and lemon juice.

Yield: 8 to 10 meal-sized servings

It may have been the scale; but when I weighed myself on Friday morening after having an awesome day on Thursday I was down about 5 pounds. My first thought was that the batteries in the scale are dying and we need to get some new ones pronto. But I weighed myself a few more times and figured that it was pretty close to reality. I must have shed a lot of water weight that day.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday were struggles - on Friday I didn't plan well and ended up having junk food for lunch and then said "screw it" and had junk for dinner too. Saturday and Sunday are a blur... Then Monday I got my act together and worked out and ate well most of the day. I didn't do too well for dinner but it wasn't horrible either and I luckily had a loss when I weighed myself yesterday morning. Tuesday was another roller coaster type of day; and I did OK but not great. I did end up losing some due to my food for the day being mostly ETL-friendly (but too much pasta and I did have some dairy).

I have been feeling really bad about not being able to get back on plan as strictly as I want to. Then I realized that in the last week the scale has gone down almost 10 pounds (we'll see what it says tomorrow morning). Which, even if a lot of that is water weight, isn't too bad. Actually, it's pretty good and I kind of feel guilty about it!

I know I can do better and these numbers should spur me on to see what I really can do when I actually TRY TO RESTRAIN MYSELF. I can remember in the beginning last summer when I had cravings that I thought were going to drive me crazy but I just let them be and didn't give into them. I asked myself why at the beginning I had so much more resolve and willpower not to cheat, what was different about me then? The answer that I came up with is that last summer I was nearly 300 pounds and I had so much self loathing about it that I had to get the weight off as quickly as possible so I wouldn't feel as much shame as I was feeling about my weight. Now that I've lost 70-75 pounds I don't feel as bad about my body as I did. This is dangerous. I'm closer to my goals of being "normal sized" and being able to wear normal clothes (a shallow motivator I know, but still it's a big one for me). So I need to keep going.

I need to keep going.

I want to keep going.

I will keep going.

I want to feel even better and be able to do even more. I want to continue to get healthier. And I do want to eventually buy these beautiful goal dresses that I keep on looking at and pining over all of the time. I just need to put more coal on the ol' motivational fire.

the do-over: Day 1

Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min Treadmill
Breakfast: Smoothie (7oz spinach, 3oz kale, 1/2 banana, strawberries, blueberries, 2 dates, flax and water)
Lunch: Blended Greens Soup (with lentils)
Exercise: 30 min walk with Cammie
Dinner: Blended Salad (romaine, pineapple, strawberries, 2 dates), 1 oz Walnuts (not in the smoothie)

Fuhrmometer: KALE!

Today was easier than I thought it would be. I am having some detox symptoms, a small headache and achy body in general and I felt like I could go to bed at 6:30, but no major cravings or anything. Part of today going so well had to do with having a positive attitude about things and the other big factor for today's success was all of the greens I packed into my smoothie - 10oz! That's twice what I have been putting into them and I also cut back on the banana. It tastes mostly the same but is a little less sweet. Overall it's still tasty and awesomely good for me. Oh yeah, it was SALT FREE too! Go me!

And see that picture up there? Yeah, it's the Deueling Dragons Roller Coaster at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure and I rode it when we were in Florida last week. We also rode The Mummy, The Hulk, and the Flying Unicorn roller coasters - but the dragons were my favorite. Ok, the Mummy was pretty cool too (we got my 87 year-old grandpa to ride it, hilarious!).

But this isn't a roller-coaster blog! It's a weight-loss and sometimes food blog and the reason that I mention the roller coasters is that last month I wrote about how I hoped that I would fit into the roller coaster seats; and that I have been avoiding roller coasters and theme parks in general for years because I knew I didn't fit in the seats. Well now I'm less overweight that I have been in probably about 10 years and I was ready to give roller coasters a try again.

At Universal they have what I'm calling test seats out in front of the roller-coastery attractions with a sign that says something like "This attraction cannot accommodate people with certain body types, please use these test seats to see if you fit." Or something like that. Anyway, these test seats are in front of the entrance to the attraction where everyone is - so if you don't fit it'd still be pretty embarassing.

The first ride like this that we (I) wanted to go on was The Mummy - and if you haven't been on it and are planning to go to Universal - YOU HAVE TO RIDE IT! When we were walking up to it we saw the seats and hubby said "do you want to try it out?" I did, but I didn't want to take the risk of not fitting in front of all of those other people and kids. I took a look at the seats, "Nah, I'll be ok" I said.

So we went in, and the whole wait to get on the ride I was dieing of nervousness, it did't get any better and even as we were sliding through the car to our seats I was wondering if I would fit... I mentally crossed my fingers and sat down... I FIT! It was such an awesome feeling and I'm glad that we went to the park.

Other people have said it before and it is so true - don't wait to live your life until you reach your goal, you'll miss out on a lot of fun along the way.

last hurrah's and new beginnings

It’s probably a vast generalization on my part to say this; but most dieters engage in a last hurrah before embarking on their diet plan. They will allow themselves one final last goodbye to all of the food that they will no longer be able to eat once they start to actually control their eating. One last meal of not caring about calories, fat, or nutritional value, not worrying about willpower, and just having whatever they want. Or maybe it’s just me.

Tomorrow morning I am starting the Six-Week Plan again. I dislike having to say that I am starting over; because to me I never really felt like I stopped Eating to Live. For the most part I’ve been good with at least having my breakfast smoothies and a good lunch or dinner. But the fact of the matter is that ever since the holidays I haven’t been doing my best. There have been a few weeks here and there where I was doing "ok" but it didn’t last; and knowing that I am not eating as well as I possibly can is weighing on my conscience.

In April and May I will have to attend an Alumni event and Graduation for students who attend the college where I work. I’d like to look nice for these events. When hubby and I were on vacation I tried on a very pretty dress in a size 16. This is a big deal because currently most of my pants that fit well are 20’s or 20W’s. So when the size 16 (not 16W I might add) actually fit onto my body, albeit snugly, it felt really good. I’d like to be able to go back to the store and buy that dress or one like it so I can look and feel good for these festive occasions.

So starting tomorrow it’ll be a fresh start. I’m prepared for the cravings, I’m prepared for the headaches, I’m prepared to feel junky in general; but I’m also prepared to get my tastebuds back when I kick my salt habit and I’m also prepared to not have any more cravings and to just feel altogether awesome. Last summer I lost 25 pounds in my first five weeks. I have five weeks from Friday to the Alumni Event and eight weeks from Friday to Graduation– let’s see how good I can do!

The Phasing Out of Salt: Day One

Thursday:
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie
Lunch: Green Soup (greens & lentils, garlic, tomatoes etc.)
Dinner: grilled cheese (CRINGE!)

Well day one of the de-salting of Nicole went ok. I should have had salad for dinner but just didn't. It's lunches (soup) that are the real issue for me with salt. Breakfast smoothies or blended salads aren't a challenge with salt and I can be happy with salad without salt as well (and usually am). It seems to be hot foods and beans that I find myself wanting to add salt to. I usually make my soups without salt and use no-salt canned tomatoes and all - but then I end up adding Bragg's to the soup before eating it. I'd like to think that it is lower-sodium overall to add the Bragg's but even some added salt/sodium is more than I need.

Dr. Fuhrman has referenced studies that have shown that people who eat a Vegetarian diet without regard to salt intake have a risk of stroke that is higher than those who eat the Standard American Diet (i.e. junk). Furthermore, effects of salt consumption can manifest in high blood pressure later in life. I recently checked my blood pressure in one of those pharmacy blood pressure machines and it was something close to 130/80, which is higher than the "normal" 120/80 - it's not too much higher but I know that I can bring it down by continuing to exercise and cutting out the added sodium in my diet. Salt is addictive and dangerous to my health and I don't want to be dependent on it or put myself at risk for hypertension or stroke any longer.

I'd really like to retrain my tastebuds so that I'm not addicted to salt for soups and other hot foods to taste good. Fellow ETLers who have cut out salt have said that after a while food no longer tastes bland and the flavor returns and things taste even better than they did before. I tried to cut out salt last summer when I first started Eat to Live and was miserable. I decided that it would be ok to use Braggs in my food because it is lower sodium than table salt and I could easily stick to keeping the added salt to around 300mg a day.

Now that I'm in a place where I'm comfortable with the diet and working out I am ready to kick the salt addiction. In the last 9.5 months I've made a lot of improvements to my diet by working to eat for nutritional excellence. It's another step toward becoming the healthy, athletic person that I am striving to be.

Sorry it's been so long! I've been doing ok the past few days; nothing fantastic but not too horrible either. Work has been very busy with my boss on vacation and me trying to get ready for vacation. I spent Sunday making soup and smoothie kits to last me this week and next week AND the week after that. It'll be nice to come back from vacation and not worry about breakfasts or lunches. Dinners will be salad so they're always easy.

I hope to be able to swim for exercise in Florida. I guess that will depend on how cold the pool is and if I can tolerate it!

When I get home I would like to finally cut salt out of my diet. I know how bad it is for me and I'd really like to "get my taste buds back" as many other ETLers have. Tune in at the end of next week for my de-salting journey!

blah blah, whine, complain, go eat some spinach

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I didn't want to work out; and procrastinated about it for a good 45 minutes befire going downstairs to do it. My workout wasn't much fun either. I spent a lot of the time saying mean things to Maya - the virtual personal trainer in Yourself!Fitness- and after 30 minutes of that I gave up rather than doing my regular other 30 minutes of exercise. Then I was crabby about going to work - it's especially tough when it's hubby's day off and I still have two more days of work. I was angry that I didn't "have anything to wear". When I got to work I was b*!chy about being here and didn't want to talk to anyone and I was literally angry at the junk food in the kitchen.

But then I had my smoothie - 8oz spinach, 4oz each blueberries, strawberries and banana with flax and water. And got some work done and now I don't feel so grumpy. I actually feel pretty ok. I don't know for sure if the attitude change is due to the good, healthy food but I think it helped. I know that when I'm eating right I feel better emotionally/psychologically as well as physically. Compared to how I used to feel emotionally/physically before ETL it's a very big improvement and is something that I'd sort of forgotten about. I'm kind of in a round-about way glad for this because it did remind me of another reason why I love this lifestyle.

The picture doesn't show too much of a difference from the -50 picture but I can tell a big difference in my clothes and the physical activity I can do. :-)

Hopefully sometime this week or next week before we leave for vacation I'll hit the 80 pounds lost mark which will be halfway to my goal!

FINALLY!

I've lost 75 pounds!

It took almost six months to lose this last 25 pounds; but I did it - and I learned a lot about myself in that six months too. 5 more pounds and I'll be 1/2 way there!

More tonight - just wanted to start celebrating early ;-)

edited at 4:21

Saturday:
Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min Treadmill
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie
Lunch/Dinner: steamed veggies, rice, veggie egg roll

Well last night I had a great two-hour workout burning 1000 calories of bad food that I ate yesterday. This morning I got up had had another decent workout today; so I feel like I'm pretty much recovered from yesterday's indescretions.

Today we were out shopping and went to a chinese place for lunch. I had the steamed veggies with just a little bit of white rice and dipped my fork in the sauce on the side for a little flavor. I did also have a veggie egg roll; which isn't so good, but I'm happy about everything else.

falling down

Friday (so far):
Breakfast: orange juice, winter warm fruit salad, pound cake, whipped cream, 3 mini- bite sized quiches
Lunch: winter warm fruit salad, pound cake, whipped cream, chex mix

I shoulda had a smoothie!

Today was a co-worker's birthday; and we had a brunch for her. I made Dr. Fuhrman's Winter Warm Fruit Salad to bring in with fresh whipped cream and pound cake. My plan was to just have the fruit but somehow I allowed myself to have the cake and all of that other junk. And then I did it again for lunch... what's wrong with me? Why did I do that? I feel so crappy about it and am really angry with myself right now. I wish I had had a smoothie for breakfast to make it easier to resist the bad food, I wish I had stopped myself before I ate any of that crap... I was doing so well.

Today was supposed to be my day off from working out but now I think that I need to go home and work as much of this off as I can. Hubby is working OT tonight so I guess I will spend my Friday night on the treadmill atoning for my SAD sins. It'll make me feel better and hopefully I won't end up gaining weight because of my indescretions.

Well, back on the horse with the knowledge and experience never to come to work (or anywhere) on a party day without my smoothie!

Thursday:
Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min Treadmill
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie
Lunch: 2/3 bowl Golden Austrian Cauliflower soup, apple
Dinner: whole wheat pita, romaine, red onion, refried beans
Fuhrmometer: Kale

Today was a good day. I wasn't tempted to eat bad food at all today and am feeling really good about things. I guess that's just about it for today!

new pants

Wednesday:
Exercise: 30min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min treadmill
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie
Lunch: 1/2 bowl of Golden Austrian Cauliflower Soup, apple
Dinner: 1/2 sandwich with tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, red onion, possibly red pepper, some feta and cilantro hummus - it was from Panera
Fuhrmometer: 9/Broccoli

Today, for the first time in my life, I wore a major garment (pants) that I purchased at the Gap. The pockets still don't look right (the pants are just a tad tight through the hips, but I don't think that side-slit pockets are flattering to many women, plus what does any woman ever keep in the pockets of her dressy work pants? I know I don't put anything in them...); but the pocket dilemma was easily fixed by a longer sweater to cover them. :-)

I know that this sounds stupid to most people, but when you've been overweight since you can remember and haven't been able to shop in "normal" stores since probably middle school; it's a big deal.

For me this is a stepping-stone into a life as a normal sized person. I am still overweight, and have no plans on staying this size, but now that I am not pigeon-holed into shopping in the plus size department I can see the clearing at the end of the path, and I am very excited to get there.

temptation, frustration, elation

Monday:
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, banana, strawberries, flax)
Lunch: 1/2 bowl Golden Austrian Cauliflower Soup
Dinner: Macaroni & Cheese
Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min treadmill
Fuhrmometer: blueberry/lentil

Tuesday:
Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min treadmill
Breakfast: Standard Smoothie
Lunch: apple
Dinner: salad (romaine, "refried" beans), 1/2 whole wheat pita
Fuhrmometer: KALE!

Yesterday was a day of temptation; and today was a day of frustration.

This week we are having student appreciation at campus (work). We are giving all the classes some nice water bottles with the college name on it as well as some fruit and pastries and a little bit of candy. Somehow I became the person to put all of the food together and deliver it to the classes, which I have no problem with - except for the part where I have to stare down mini cream puffs and mini eclairs.

A few times yesterday I almost talked myself into giving in; but I didn't. The good ETLer in me told me I didn't need that junk and that I would just feel bad about myself if I ate it. I'm happy that I listened!

However that was not to last. Last week hubby was under the weather and couldn't eat too much. I told him that I would make him macaroni and cheese. Well this week he's better; but I kept my promise. I had planned on eating salad for dinner and not the mac & cheese - but it reeled me in. I felt so guilty after eating it and really regretted it.

Today was tough, I was still beating myself up over last night's dinner and then at lunch time I was seriously craving a wrap from the Natural Foods Store (not ETL). But I'm elated to say that I stuck with the plan today for lunch and dinner and had my first Kale day in a while. It makes me feel so good and gives me a boost of motivation that I really needed. I know that I can make tomorrow another Kale day.

It's definitely not always easy to eat right and do the things I need to do to be healthy and lose weight, but it is easier when you're mindful of how good it feels to be doing all the right things.

the good and the not-as-good

Saturday:
Breakfast: smoothie (romaine, blueberries, banana, flax, water)
Lunch: handful of walnuts
Dinner: baked french fries with ketchup
Exercise: 60 min Yourself!Fitness, 60 min treadmill

Sunday:
Breakfast: baked french fries with ketchup
Dinner: Burritos (whole wheat pita, "refried" beans, romaine)
Exercise: 45 min Yourself!Fitness, 40 min treadmill

The weekends are usually tough for me. On the weekdays it's easier to stick with ETL foods because I don't give myself the time or the opportunity so much to eat SAD. This weekend I had some really good workouts; it's really nice not to have to rush through them. This week is going to be a good week for me. I can just feel that it's all going to come together this week and I'll be able to keep it up.

fit

Friday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (romaine, flax, blueberries, banana, water)
Lunch: skipped
Dinner: TBD at a restaurant
Exercise: skipping, but planning on a super extra special double workout tomorrow

In about 2.5 weeks hubby and I are going on vacation. When we are on vacation we have plans to go to a theme park. At said theme park there will be roller coasters. I haven't ridden in a roller coaster since probably freshman year of high school. At some point when I was in high school I got too fat for roller coasters and have avoided them since then, and theme parks all together. It's not fun.

I know that even right now I am not as large as I was when I was a senior in high school. The only reason that I know this is that I tried on my prom dress a few months ago and it was huge on me. That's a good thing. But I'm still a little bit leery if I am thin enough to be able to fit into roller coasters. I want to be able to, but I am nervous about it.

Generally, I "fit" into things much better now than I used to. I can remember going to the movies and not being comfortable in the seats because of my size. We recently went to the movies with some friends and I was pleased to find that the seats are much more comfortable now and that there is (a small amount) of extra space. Hubby used to always wonder why it would take me so long to get in/out of the car - well now I beat him out of the car all the time. My office chair is much more comfortable than it used to be too. I can fit in my Gap pants now and am *this* close to being satisfied enough with the way they look on me to wear them to work.

There's no doubt that I am now a size that is much closer to normal that I used to be. But is it going to be enough? I really hope so. The only thing I can do at this point is spend the next few weeks eating as well as I can and doing the best I can with my workouts.

The only way I will know if I'm roller-coaster appropriate (lol) will be to try it out. I have been able to achieve a lot that I didn't think I could do - running is a great example - so there's no reason not to try. In the event that it doesn't work out; it'll just be added incentive to keep going. Not like I really need added incentive, but it's nice to have around.

Thursday: (so far)Exercise: 30 min Yourself!Fitness, 30 min treadmill
Breakfast: Smoothie (romaine, pineapple, blueberries, flax and water)
Lunch: Cheez-Its and Pretzels :(
Dinner: (to be added)

Today's lunch was a struggle! I was haunted by the spirit of the wraps at the Natural Foods Store down the street but also repulsed by the thought of eating the soup that I brought from home. I ended up with the pretzels and the cheez-its. Sigh. I did have a good work out this morning and am not going to let the lunch thing get to me.

This week's soup has been Golden Austrian Cauliflower soup from the member center. A lot of people over on Dr. F's message boards have tried it and really like it but it's just not for me. Since I hate to throw food away; I will do my best to finish it but will have to add something to it to pep it up. Curry powder did wonders for me before, hmmm...

Can I just say how much I enjoy working out in the morning? Because I do - by the time I leave for work I feel like half my day is over. If my day at work goes bad then I can remind myself that I've already worked out for the day and that's something to feel good about.

things

Monday:
Breakfast: smoothie (kale, romaine, pom juice, pineapple, banana, flax)
Lunch: salad (romaine, red onion, walnuts, a little blue cheese, balsamic vinegar)
Dinner: "burrito" (homemade "refried" beans, lettuce, salsa in 1/2 of a whole wheat pita)
Non-ETL food: candy
Exercise: 30 min Cardio with Yourself!Fitness, 30+ min walk with Cammie

Tuesday:
Breakfast: smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, banana, flax)
Lunch: Golden Austrian Cauliflower Soup with Kale
Dinner: Salad (romaine lettuce with homemade "refried" beans and salsa), 1/2 whole wheat pita
Non ETL food: 3 small chocolates, about 6 Nutter-Butters
Exercise: Rest Day

Wednesday:
Breakfast: smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, banana, flax)
Lunch: Golden Austrian Cauliflower Soup with Kale
Dinner: "burrito" (homemade "refried" beans, lettuce, whole wheat pita)
Non-ETL food: pudding cup
Exercise: 30 min jogging on the treadmill (not walking!)

I have been getting back on track slowly. Last week I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 pounds. I am close to being back up to speed; as can be seen by the past few days of food. One of the things that has really helped me get back on track has been my workouts. I've always enjoyed exercising when I actually get my (sometimes) lazy self up to do it... and becoming more athletic and active has been one of my major goals since the get go (well that and the clothes... sigh, the clothes) ;-)

Previously the best I could do running would be to jog for a few minutes - maybe five at the most and then I would have to stop and walk the rest of the way. Well a few weeks ago I decided to try to do one of the programs on my treadmill just for something different. It forced me to do some jogging and I realized that I could do much more than I thought I could. I don't run too fast, but I do keep the treadmill at a respectable incline (isn't it supposed to be better for your knees?) and the other day I jogged for a decent (to me) 25 minutes straight. It's new and fun and I get an awesome workout. I'm going to work on increasing my speed and endurance and maybe someday actually try running outside - although I enjoy watching the treadmill count all of the calories I'm burning. :-)

I really want to transform myself into an athlete. I often find myself fantasizing about winning/being given a ridiculous amount of money and winning the HGTV Dream Home so that I can quit my job and spend my winters skiing and my summers hiking and kayaking and white water rafting. The first thing I'd purchase with my riches? Well, that'd be a 57 Chevy Bel-Air, but the second would be an Endless Pool so that I can swim whenever I want no matter what the weather is like. I think that I would train for and compete in the Xterra Triathlons, which is something I can still do living my normal life. I just have to keep plodding along on this weight loss road. Exercise just became double-duty: 1)weight-loss facilitation and 2) triathlon training. Sweet!

Hey! So guess what? I’ve been totally sucking these past few weeks. I’m sure it’s no surprise since that’s pretty much what we all think is happening when we don’t hear from a weight loss blogger. I don’t think that it is a coincidence that I did my best with my weight loss when I was making it a priority to blog every day. I really need to start doing that again.

Tuesday afternoon I got a call from someone from DrFuhrman.com asking me to be a guest caller on Dr. F’s internet radio show Nutritional Wisdom on Wednesday. The topic was “Why all diets fail” which I found a little ironic because I’ve been feeling like I’m on the failing side of things lately, but because I have a tough time saying no to anyone, I agreed to do it. For the rest of that day and the next morning I went back and forth with myself about actually doing it or not and thinking about what I would say if I did do it. Some of the things that went through my head were about how much better I feel both physically and mentally when I’m eating ETL foods and how much that it has improved my life. I did end up calling in and it went ok I think – the hubby says that he will use the recording of the show as blackmail fodder. In case you missed it and want to hear me being nervous out of my mind and probably coming across pretty geeky click here and select the 2/7/07 show.


I am glad that it happened because as I said it really highlighted the reasons why I’m doing this as well as the fact that it really works. Despite this I haven’t been able to say no to junk food lately either. I’ll do well for breakfast and lunch and then blow it by having a cookie or a totally bad dinner. I miss the feeling of seeing my weight go down every week instead of seeing the scale stay pretty much the same or go up.

I know that when I stick to ETL it works for me. So why can’t I just stick to it?

Not being able to stick to it just makes me feel bad about myself. Most of the time the food isn’t that satisfying and/or it makes me feel physically bad so why do I keep eating it? It’s not even a matter of not liking ETL food – because I do. I just have to stop. I just have to be stronger. I know I can do it, so I will do it.

An added incentive for me to really be strict with myself is that we just planned a vacation to a warm place for the middle of March – the time when winter has got you beat – and I’d really like to be able to buy some new clothes to take with me from the normal sized part of a store like Old Navy. I’m so close to being able to fit into the normal clothes and not the Women’s or Plus clothes and I’d really like to be able to do that for our vacation. I think that if I am back on track and really stick with things then I will be able to do it. I really hate setting goals but I just can’t avoid this one. I don’t think that it’s an unreachable goal and I’m not going to attach a target weight to it and I have a feeling that this is a goal that I am going to meet.