Tuesday, April 10, 2007

avoiding doom

Unfortunately; we can't live in a world devoid of temptation. I think that things would be a lot easier if we could. But before I digress and begin philosophizing about morals and the like; I'll refine my original statement.

It's too bad that we can't live in a world where all food is good, healthy, nutritionally excellent food.

I am a big supporter of people deciding what they want to eat on their own. I wouldn't appreciate someone telling me that I should eat meat and animal products and likewise I don't push people to Eat to Live. Sure life would be easier if the people around me ate more like I do; but that's also a two-way street. The point is, I've made a decision to eat as naturally and nutritiously as possible and I have to learn to live with the fact that there is food around me that I shouldn't eat and condition myself not to want to eat it.

There are times when I'll give in and eat something that I shouldn't and afterward I can just feel that the food was basically a hollow nutritional wasteland. There are times when I've given in and had that first bite of something and instantly regretted it. There are times when that first bite triggers a landslide of bad eating and the "screw it" mentality.

Yesterday I had one of those days where the first bite led to my downfall. I didn't eat too horribly but I know I could have had a much better day if I didn't have that first bite. I know that eating off-plan food will make me feel guilty and regretful and not help my weight loss at all and I have to keep remembering that every time I pass the candy dish in the hallway at work, or every time I walk into the office kitchen and see sweets and crackers and whatever staring back at me.

Recently, over at at Half of Me (a FANTASTIC weight-loss blog); PQ wrote about how smokers can quit smoking completely and alcoholics avoid alcohol completely but everyone always has to eat - no matter if one is addicted to food or not (go read the post). I am often in a state of mind these days where I wish that I didn't enjoy or care about food and truly just ate to satisfy my biological nutritional needs. I often wish that I don't want to eat for stress relief or enjoyment or any of that horrible stuff but I do - and it's much more mental than physical - it's the enjoyment of sitting down to eat dinner with hubby and sharing a meal (the same food) once in a while and that feeling of "normal." This is a big thing that I'll need to work on.

For now, I'm going to work on NOT taking that first bite and remembering the doom that will follow from taking that first bite before it happens. I'll have so many more good, no, AWESOME days if I can pull this off. It wasn't easy when I first went vegetarian almost 10 years ago; but over time my resolve not to eat meat has grown and strengthened, and a big factor in that was not breaking down and eating that chicken sandwich or whatever it was that tempted me. That resolve paid off and here I am, these days I wouldn't eat a steak if you paid me. I think that with time, persistence, and NOT taking that first bite I'll be able to do the same with ETL.

PS The image is of the top of our wedding cake, our 1.5 year anniversary/ 2 year homeowning anniversary is this Saturday. Hard to believe! ;-)