a little motivation

I'm sure many of you have seen this already as it was one of those featured stories on Yahoo today, but I found it to be very inspirational.

If in your past you experienced cold (or hot) weather as a deterrent to working out, this season holds the opportunity of a lifetime for you.

Make this year different. Adopt a true athletic archetype and feel your desire for fitness success emerge. You can use old obstacles as opportunities to gain strength - mental and physical.

Breaking through – that is your focus.
Not giving up – that is your motto.
Making your training a priority rather than a dispensable activity – that is your goal.
"Success is only a word, but achieving it is a lifestyle."

Make the decision - that’s what you have to do first. Decide that you want to maintain, begin, or improve your training this winter, then take steps to support (and reinforce) your decision.

Then, don’t give up no matter what. Act and think, in all areas of your life, like the athlete you want to be (and look like). Making your health and fitness a priority will be the best gift you give this winter to you and everyone else in your life.

"Try These Cold Weather Workouts" Debbie Rocker

This really helps me feel motivated to eat the right food today and make sure that I get my workouts in tonight... actually I wish I could go out for a run right now!

"You're a runner now"

Webster Turkey Trot, ~4.4 miles, 11/22/07Sunday night: I check the weather for Thursday, there’s a chance of rain and the high temperature is predicted to be 51. The chance of rain isn’t ideal, but at least the temperature is going to be decent.

Monday: Thursday will now be in the low 40’s. Slightly more chance of rain. Great.

Tuesday: Temp will be in the high 30’s. It’s going to rain. Am I cursed?

Wednesday: It is currently pouring outside and tomorrow it’s going to be raining and snowing. Temperature between 9 and 12 is predicted to be in the low 30’s. Oh, and there’s also a winter weather advisory from 4am to 4pm. Do I even have the right gear for that kind of weather? I’d better go get a wind/rainproof jacket.

Thursday, 7:00 - It’s raining out but the temp is in the upper 30’s. That’s not too bad. I think I can get away with my technical shirts and my new coat – I won’t wear the fleece I had also thought I’d need.

8:00 – Breakfast. Greens & beans.

8:30 – Get dressed: short sleeved tech T, long sleeved tech shirt (with sleeves that turn into mittens), good running pants and another pair of pants over them. Grab new jacket and fleece headband on the way out the door. It is raining really bad. Cammie wants to come with me but has to stay home 

8:50 - Driving there I wonder if I haven’t bitten off more than I can chew. Am I really ready for this race? Can I do it? I decide that I can. Last week I ran 4.25 miles and felt decent, just a few days ago I did 3.1 miles on the treadmill in just about 35 minutes. I’m prepared for this. But I still feel a little nervous.

9:15 – Arrive at the race. By the time I get my timing chip and head into the lodge to grab some safety pins I’m shivering. Fantastic. I spend most of the rest of the time before the race standing under the side of the lodge just trying to stay out of the wind and the rain. I wisely decide to go to the bathroom and when I come out there’s about 10 minutes before the race starts, I need to make my way to the starting line. My pants are pretty wet already…

9:58 – There are about 1500 people running today between this race and the 2.5 miler that I thought more than once I should have signed up for instead. But nervous as I was, I start up my ipod and get pumped. I am ready for this and I just want to start running already!

10:00 – Finally! We’re off. With all the people, it takes a while to get sorted out so there aren’t so many people around. The race starts off down a hill and then right back up and around a corner. I know I just need to keep going and I’ll be ok.

We run along the lake for a bit, it’s still raining and windy but doesn’t seem so bad now that I’m moving and generating heat. The main pack of faster runners finally gets far enough ahead of me that I can run without too many other people around me but I can tell that this race I am going to have at least some people near me, which is good to keep me motivated. I choose another runner who is a little bit ahead of me and tell myself that I’m not going to let her get away. We round the second corner and I take a quick look behind me. There’s a respectable number of people that I can see behind me and that feels good.

Before I know it I pass the 2 mile marker. It’s felt like a very short amount of time and I feel strong. As we head down the road I pass the runner ahead of me that I’ve been keeping in my sight, wooo!

And it’s mile 3… “Almost there! Well, just barely” I think and I feel so good that I try to kick up the pace. I don’t know if I really did but that’s ok. We head back toward the park and somewhere along the like my running buddy passes me again. It’s ok… but I’m not going to let her get away.

We enter the park and I know it can’t be too much further. We follow a park road around and go up another hill “keep going keep going keep going” I think to myself when I make it to the top. We round a bend and I can see the beginning of the “off road” portion I had heard about. It’s rained here for the past two days so I’m prepared for mud. We try to get down the short hill as fast as we can without slipping too much on the mud, cross a little bridge and then it’s still muddy and puddle-y and slippery but at least its still flat.

I do my best to stay out of the really muddy areas as we run across the field. I get so preoccupied that I forget how close we must to be to the finish line, until I look up and there it is! At this point I don’t care about avoiding puddles or mud. I take a straight line toward the finish (which surprisingly wasn’t too slippery) and splash through puddles and get totally dirty soaking wet feet and cross the finish line feeling completely awesome.

There’s no big clock at the finish line so I’m not sure what my time is but I’ll be able to guesstimate my time. It takes a few minutes to get back to the car. I take care to walk through as many puddles as I can in the parking lot to get the mud off my shoes. When I get to the car I put the keys in and it’s 11:01. It’s been easily 4 or 5 minutes since I finished… I’d be happy with 56 minutes!

And that’s the time I’m going with. I checked the race organizers’ website this afternoon to see my real time and due to all of the rain and mud, my finish didn’t get recorded. It’s ok though because I’m much more interested in feeling strong throughout the race and just running my best.

After the race I went over to my boss’ house for some tea, she had run the race as well but is a much faster and more experienced runner than I am so we didn’t run together. As I was on my way out to go home we were talking about how this race is a tradition and I mentioned how I know I can run in pretty much any weather now that I made it through this stuff and she says, “Oh yes, you’re definitely a real runner now.”

This Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for all of the usual stuff (a great family, awesome friends, Cammie, etc) but I am especially thankful for my new(ish) body and athletic abilities; it just feels so great to be able to do these things that not so long ago I never thought I would do.

Friday Check-In

So this morning I am back down to where I was the last time I posted my weight (198), which is good :-) BUT I have the rest of today and all Saturday and Sunday before I "officially" weigh in on Monday morning. I am very committed to sticking to my challenge plan so I don't have to drive hubby's winter beater to work for a week... if it's not a Mini, I really don't want to drive it, I guess I am a snob like that!

Germaine posted a comment about craving bread-y types of things lately and I can completely understand what that's like! For some reason lately I have been wanting rice or a sandwich or something along those lines quite frequently. I know that this craving is related to my non-ETL detour and remember how that lingering desire for bread stuck around a lot longer than cravings for other things did. Other than salt, I think that giving up the refined grains was one of the toughest things for me to get over initially.

I now know that I can live (happily too!) without them. Sometimes you just get tired ot have a bad day and want to revert back to those old comfort types of food though. I have noticed though, even in just this past week, that those bad days are greatly diminished when one is working out and eating well - good reason to stick with the plan.

I'm trying to think of something tasty and nutritious to have for lunch next week, since it's a short work week it doesn't have to make too much, but I am kind of getting tired of eating a cold salad at every single meal. I've been craving garlicky greens & beans for a while now, I think that would be a good option, plus it's kind of like warm salad which means that it'd be the best of both worlds.

"don't get cocky"

Thank you to everyone who has commented this week, your encouragement has been very very encouraging!

I am happy to say that I am 1/2 way through losing the weight (obviously a lot of it was water weight) that I put on in my 2ish weeks of not caring/business trip in San Francisco. Say what you will about losing water weight and that it's not actual loss of fatty tissue and all, but it does feel good to step on the scale in the morning and see the scale going down. This kind of thing is what I need to feel re-dedicated. It makes me look forward to seeing new "lowest adult weight ever" numbers in the near future.

Food for this week has been smoothies for breakfast (except for this morning, I had carrots because I just didn't feel like making one). Hubby found me some frozen no sugar added mandarin orange segments which I've been putting in my smoothies for a little something different. I need to get into the habit of putting at least an ounce or two of kale into my smoothies for the added nutrient punch.

Lunches and dinners have been salads, lunches have been salads because we've had a series of business lunches with other colleges this week, and dinners have been salads because, well, I really really like my lettuce - red onion - walnut - bleu cheese - balsamic combo.

Running! The Turkey Trot is a week from tomorrow and I'm feeling good. I'm slower than I'd like to be but I think that as I continue to train and lose weight I will get faster. No matter what, it's cool to think that I can now go out and run 3 or 4 miles continuously when just this past summer I was running in 3 or 4 minute time blocks.

I'm not dead yet!

Tomorrow morning I have a doctor's appointment and I know I'll have to step on the scale. At that realization, the past two months of waffling around not being able to stick to the diet came crashing down in an avalanche of self loathing. I really have to work more on my self control and committment to being healthier and sticking to this way of living and eating.

The only thing that I've kept up with has been running, but even with that I've allowed myself to skip runs all to easily.I've just felt burnt out about spending so much time cooking and preparing food each weekend, I haven't felt like I have anything worth writing about lately either. I've just felt sick of trying and just want to go with the flow.

BUT... I don't want to go back to feeling horrible all the time and bad about myself. I want to be happy and feel good. I want to stop feeling so lazy and be full of energy and I want to know that I am putting 100% into achieving my goals.

So it's time for a challenge. A challenge that will get my confidence back and my spirits up that I can meet. There are 10 days from tomorrow to the day before Thanksgiving. I will eat perfect ETL (with the exception of the 1/2 oz of bleu cheese on my dinner salads) for those 10 days and will make all of my planned runs (Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday) and will walk Cammie (or use the treadmill) and do Yourself!Fitness on the non-running days. Hubby will keep me accountable and as a penalty for not completing the challenge I will have to drive his winter beater to work for a week and not my beloved Mini.

I feel better about myself already.

quick and random

Thursday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (Spinach, Mandarin Oranges, 1/2 banana, strawberries, flax, water)
Lunch: 1/2 blueberry bagel, curried split pea soup with greens
Exercise: Will Run - speedwork
Dinner: Will eat Salad (lettuce, red onion, walnuts, balsamic, bleu cheese), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8ish - eggplant-ish

I weighed the bleu cheese that I put on my salad last night, it was just barely 1/2 oz. I really don't feel bad about it - at least diet wise...

I had a really good run last night, 50 minutes with no walking! Running with my ipod shuffle has made a big difference. I am looking forward to tonight's run too - it's been a stressful day!

Today's weight: 197.8 (I think, it may have been 197.6 but I can't remember for sure and I'm all for under estimating).

Hi.

So, I haven't been as bad as my absence would indicate. I have been trying to be good (usually breakfast and lunch are ok) but then lose my momentum for dinner. This morning I was at 199.6, so while I am up I'm not up too much, and a lot of it is due to salt. So I'm confident that I can get back into new weight loss territory soon.

And I feel myself coming out of my funk. I decided that even though it's not the best thing to do for a variety of reasons, I am going to put a little bit of the bleu cheese on my salads. If it's what gets me excited about eating the salad for dinner instead of real bona fide junk; it's what I'm going to do for the time being.

I haven't felt like I have anything to say lately, but I will make a better effort to post more often. I know that when I am better about posting I am better about everything I need to do to lose weight, and I really want to get my s%*t back together.

things to work through

I'm struggling.

This happens to me after I meet a milestone for some reason and I don't really know why, I have a hard time (to say the least) maintaining my momentum and end up floundering for a while until I get sick of it and get a renewed sense of motivation and get back on track.

I'm sick of the cycle. It took me 3 months to lose the first 50 pounds and then a year to lose the second 50. I don't really want it to take me another year to lose another 50. I know that as I continue to lose weight the weight loss will slow; but I'd rather it slow and still be working on it instead of it not going anywhere because I can't stick to the plan.

I'm in a sick of salad mode. Well, actually I would eat salad if I could have my favorite romaine/red onion/walnut/blue cheese/balsamic combo - but I know how bad cheese is for me and the salad just isn't the same without it. Is it ok to have just a little bit of the blue cheese with my salad if it's helping me get my greens in? I just don't know. Part of me says that a small amount of the cheese is ok if it means that my diet otherwise is on point, but the other part of me doesn't want the cheese. I know there are other salad combos, but nothing is getting me excited about eating my salads and I end up finding a way to avoid them - which is not good.

The holidays are starting - there are lots and lots of food-related events and celebrations happening now and they'll continue into December. I don't want to put my weight loss on hold this year like I ended up doing last year. I want to keep going and find myself in January weighing less than I do now. I'm not sure how to strike the balance between staying faithful to my weight loss goals and not feeling like I am depriving or ostracizing myself.

I read the first couple of pages of the Pleasure Trap yesterday (finally) hopefully it'll be just what I need as the season of eating begins.

And on a positive note - the jeans I just got 2 weeks ago are too big, I should have gotten a smaller size but it didn't even occur to me to try on a smaller size while we were at the store. I wear them now and I need to wear a belt with them, which is slightly frustrating but definitely cool.

Race Report: Scarecrow 5k 10-6-07

It's Friday night, and I'm trying to go to sleep. I keep on thinking about the race and my heart thumps in my chest with excitement and I resort to drawing numbers in my mind to calm down. I have a much easier time falling asleep tonight than I did before the Glen Iris.

Saturday morning I get out of bed at 7:15, let Cammie out and make my smoothie. I've had breakfast and have left for the race by 8:00. I still feel that just-woke-up queasiness in my stomach and look at the sunny, foggy/hazy morning and feel just the slightest bit of trepidation about the race. But I brush it away and enjoy the beautiful morning as I drive to the race.

I turn down main street toward the race location and see tons of runners jogging around... did I miss the start of the race? No, the race starts at 9:00 and it's 8:30. I'll be fine. Woah, that guy just ran across the street in front of my car! Crazy runner!

I find a too good to be true parking spot and head over to the registration area. There are a lot of people here. I find the bathrooms, get my timing chip and walk around and stretch and just generally wait for the race to start.

Finally, it's time to go. After standing at the starting line for what seems to be an eternity they blow the air horn. I start out at a decent pace and predictably people are passing me, I don't even notice if I am passing other people, I'm just concentrating on keeping going and on my pace.

We turn the first corner, and I think about how cool it is to be running on these closed off roads in the town that I grew up in. There is a slight hill down and then another slight hill up as we turn the corner to cross the bridge over the canal. We head down along the canal and I can hear the guy with the bullhorn giving splits for the first mile... 8:32! 8:35! I can't see him so I know he's probably a little ways off from where I am, but I'm feeling good about my pace.

I finally get to the one mile point slightly after 11:00, which is consistent with my one mile time in the Glen Iris and also on Thursday night when Cammie and I were out for a normal run. I feel good about my time and am confident that I will be able to beat my personal goal of beating my time from the Glen Iris.

And then it got hot. There was no shade and the sun was beating down on us. I was happy that I had worn my technical running gear and not anything cotton. I run for a good long time to the turn around and can see all of the people that are ahead of me, but it's ok. I pass a couple of people who have stopped running and just keep going.

Finally, we reach the turn around. I welcome a slight breeze in my face that I didn't feel before and keep going. I pass more people who have stopped running and keep going. Finally I can see the bridge we crossed in the distance and focus on that. I know that once I get to that one I'll be able to see the next bridge which is really close to the finish line.

Before I know it, I'm under the second bridge and I can see the finish line. I feel good and finish much stronger than I did at the Glen Iris. I can't see the time until I am right at the finish line. First I see a 3 and then an 8 and then a 0... WOO HOO I beat my time at the Glen Iris! My official finishing time is 38:08, 1:05 faster than at the Glen Iris, with no walking!

All in all, I'm really glad that I did this 5k. Now I need to focus on increasing my mileage so that I'm ready for that 4.4 mile Turkey Trot!

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

Tuesday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, and water)
Lunch: Everything Soup
Exercise:(planned) 35 minute run, short flexibility workout with Yourself!Fitness
Dinner:(planned) Salad (romaine, balsamic, chickpeas, marinated portobellos, red onion, walnuts), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 brocco-kale

Yesterday while I was posting I had a ton of good ideas that I wanted to write about today; but I didn't make a note of them and now I've forgotten what they were. Nice huh?!

A while back someone requested my Pumpkin Smoothie recipe and I never got around to posting it, so instead of all the stuff I was planning to say yesterday and because it's now officially Fall and October, here it is:

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie
3 small dates
1/2 cup soy milk
1/2 cup plain canned pumpkin (or more)
1/2 banana
cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger (or pumpkin pie spice)
splash vanilla extract
ice cubes (maybe 1 cup)

If you're planning ahead of time, soak the dates in the soymilk overnight. Other than that, toss everything into the blender and blend it up! Change the quantities of items to match your thickness/pumpkinness preference.

5k countown part 2

Monday:
Exercise: Walk with Cammie
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Everything Soup (green split peas, barley, kale, tomatoes, minestrone veggies, spices etc..)
Exercise: Walk with Cammie, Core workout (Yourself!Fitness)
Dinner: Salad (romaine, chickpeas, marinated portobellos, red onion, walnuts, balsamic), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 brocco-kale

First things first: I last week I lost the weight that I gained the week before. Phew! It was really good to get on the scale this morning and see 197. At first when I got below the 200's it felt weird; almost like I was in territory I didn't belong in. But all it took was floating back up there for me to fully realize that it is where I belong and seeing 200 on the scale is NOT a comfort zone at all. Seeing 140 on the scale will be my comfort zone and I need to will actively pursue it.

Today I signed up for my second 5k, it's this Saturday and is in my hometown, so I know the route and am really excited about it. Since I've been training all along I feel very prepared. My run yesterday was 45 minutes with a good deal of hills (and Cammie trying to chase squirrels the entire time) and even though I stopped twice to walk, I think know I could have kept going if I needed to.

I love how knowing that I have a race to run (and now a time that I want to beat) helps me feel super extra committed to eating well. I don't want to have any off plan meals this week because I want to feel as good as I possibly can. Luckily, I did spend part of my day in the kitchen yesterday putting together my smoothie kits, and prepping stuff for my salads. I made my soup last week and froze enough for this week's lunches so I am all set to go!

I need to buy some more running clothes - any recommendations for what I should buy/where I should go? I don't need too much in the way of really cold weather gear because once the snow flies I can't run outside, my neighborhood is not very well plowed and the roads get icy, but I do plan to run outside until it gets snowy and then stick it out on the treadmill for the dark months...

knowing thyself

I have good days and I have bad days. A lot of what goes into making a good day for me is being well prepared. This is why even though I really don't like to, I need to spend part of my Sunday in the kitchen preparing food for the upcoming week. I'd much rather spend some of the last precious days of nice weather outside all day, but I can't always do that...

This past Sunday I knowingly rebelled, I knew I had food that would get me through Monday but no further than that and I still decided not to make anything. I came to regret it on Monday when I was faced with even less of a desire to cook but knew I had absolutely nothing to eat.

As I dragged myself through the grocery store I found myself wishing I could just be one of those people who has a beer and some chips and salsa and calls that dinner.

"But," said the little angel on my shoulder, "you know better and you won't do that."

It's true, I do know better and I am getting better all the time with not pushing aside healthy food for fast and easy (and bad for me) junk. I feel like my knowledge of what eating for nutritional excellence is has instilled within me a little bit of a failsafe, when I want to eat a doughnut I start thinking about all of the refined junk and saturated fats and how bad it all is for me and I don't want it anymore because I really do know better.

I've also realized lately that when I do have an off-plan meal I am satisfied with eating much less than I used to. And it's not forced, it's definitely a more intuitive thing. I think that this is a benefit of having so much to lose and it taking time; I am evolving into these things and not forcing myself. I think that because of this it will help me out quite a bit when I finally get to my goal weight and have to start maintaining it.

the running update

My next race is/was supposed to be a 4miler on October 13th. I don't think that I am going to end up running in that race this year (even though I'd like to) for a number of reasons. It's ok though, I am going to see if there is another 5k I can do in October. I will also keep on training for the 4.4 mile Turkey Trot since Hubby is working on Thanksgiving and my parents and Grandpa will be golfing in Arizona - it'll be a decent way to spend at least part of the day.

Last week Rochelle (my awesome coach) had me start doing speedwork (running sprints). It is actually really fun for the first few sprints - you get to just run as fast as you can and fly over the terrain... and then your legs start feeling it and that's awesome too because you know you've gotten a really great workout.

Sundays are my long run, this past week I drove to a park that isn't too far from where we live and ran across a pedestrian bridge that goes over a river gorge and up into the park I was running in earlier this summer. It was an awesome run, firstly because there were some decent hills that used to kick my butt but this time I kept going and also because for the entire 45 minute run I only stopped to walk for about 90 seconds... and I don't think I even really needed to do that.

I'm impressing myself with how my stamina has improved since I've started running; but it just makes me want to be able to run faster and for more miles. I know that with time it will happen :-)

highs, lows, in-betweens

Wow, I didn't realize that it's been nearly a week since I last posted. Things have been hectic lately between work, going away last weekend, and trying not to get too despertely behind on housework it's been tough to find time to get online and check everyone's blogs and update my own. Hopefully soon things (especially at work) will get under control and I will be able to be a much more consistent blogger.

Thursday I worked a 12+ hour day, went home and took a nap and was then back at work on Friday before 8am. Luckily, I had taken a half day so that Friday and Saturday Hubby and I could take quick and breezy tour of New England. We drove to Massachusetts Friday afternoon/evening and had dinner with some friends and then got up really, really, really early on Saturday to drive to New Hampshire to do some Mini stuff. We took back roads through New Hampshire and Vermont all the way to Albany on the way home. It was a long day, but it was really nice.

But my eating wasn't so nice. So when I stepped on the scale yesterday morning for my weekly weigh in; I had gained weight. I was expecting it but it still sucked to see. Hubby asked me what my weight was, and usually I just tell him; but I felt pretty crappily about it and couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. "It's ok, you'll lose it" Hubby said and gave me a big hug. It was just what I needed. I haven't been perfect yesterday or today, but I have been much better and this has been a faster rebound than others I've had.

Motivation: There is a person on the member center who has lost 120 pounds since last September, and she hasn't gone off Eat to Live (like NO CHEATING, at all!). Isn't that amazing! That kind of dedication is something I'd like to aspire to.

Also, Dr. Fuhrman's office contacted me (Hi Susan!), to ask if they could use my pictures and story to be this month's success story in Dr. F's newsletter and if they could put me on the Success Stories page on the website... how awesome is that! It's great to hear how excited other people are for me and really helps me to keep going and stick with it when those moments strike when I'd rather not do what I should.

Enough babbling for now, I will be back tomorrow with a running update!

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Susan V's Green-On-Green Soup
Exercise: Run with Cammie
Dinner: Wrap with baba ganoush, falafel, romaine, carrots, onion, cucumber
Fuhrmometer: 9 - broccoli

Earlier today in the Dr. Fuhrman forums...

Paige wrote:
I'm most impressed with you because you are able to mess up one meal and then pick back up at the next, or mess up for a week and then pick up the next.

I responded to her that I think that part of my reason for being able to do this is that I do my best not to view ETL as an "all or nothing" diet. I try to be the best that I can, but if there are days where I don't eat a good meal, or I have a bad day or a bad week I don't view myself as an ETL failure. Every time I start up again after going astray I feel stronger and more dedicated to the plan.

I'm also finding that as time goes on, I am naturally becoming more "in tune" with the plan as written. When I first started ETL I didn't want to give up cheese - these days I may still have it occasionally, but most of the time I don't want it at all.

A similar thing has happened with salt. I used to feel the need to add Braggs to soups to make them taste "right" but after finding some excellent recipes that taste good without it (Quinoa Paella, Springtime Soup, Susan V's Green on Green Soup), I've realized that I don't miss it in other things and when I have expected to think that I would need it, I haven't.

I think that these developments are in part due to the fact that they sort of evolved - I didn't force myself to eat food that I didn't think tasted good to kick the salt habit - that one is really all about having good recipes that genuinely don't need it. My growing lack of interest in dairy is very similar, it's not something forcerd; it's just happening that way, and that is because I have allowed myself to have some meals (or whatever) that are not perfectly ETL, but I've done my best to get back on the plan as quickly as I can, and I know that my next meal is always an opportunity to be back on track.

Compare. Contrast.

To anyone out there that might be embarking on their own weight loss adventure:
Be consistent with your progress pictures. Be anal retentive about it. Take the pics in the same place, have the photographer stand the same distance away from you, etc. I regret that we've been as relaxed about it as we have been...

BUT ANYWAY...

It doesn't really matter! I've lost 101 pounds :-)

(Click on the picture to see it bigger... if you dare!)

So close to the -100 point! I was 199.0 this morning. I have lost 99.6 pounds... darn that 0.4 of a pound! I will wait to post side by side comparisons of then v. now until I am officially under 198.6 but for now you can see me in the pants I wore in my "before" photo. How fun it was to take the quintessential weight loss picture!

I must admit, for as long as I have been looking forward to seeing the number on the scale start with a 1 it's kind of freaky (in a good way). Like I've said before, the last time I was around this weight I was in middle school, which was 14-15 years ago (creepy!).

I anticipated feeling euphoric when I got to this point; and I am happy, very happy, I feel quite proud of myself and all - but it's not like on tv when balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling or anything. Which is somehow what I thought it would feel like... but I'm not complaining or anything - I just wanted to say that it's different. But still great.

Another thing - I'm noticing that I don't totally hate myself in every. single. picture. anymore... I know I sort of posted about this before but it bears repeating. There are so few pictures of me as a teenager and young adult because I always hated how I looked, but now it's not so bad. I am proud of what I've done and feel much more confident in my appearance than ever before. I know I still have a lot to lose, but I can see that it's more achieveable now then it ever has been before.

no need for words...

weighing in and scared straight

Monday:
Exercise: walk with cammie, ab workout (yourself!fitness)
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: eggplant zucchini tofu lasagna
Exercise: walk wiht cammie
Dinner: salad (romaine, chili pinto beans, salsa), graham cracker with peanut butter
Fuhrmometer: 8.5 - eggplant

Well, I am up 2 this week. Yuck. Hopefully it's mostly water weight and I'll lose it quickly.

I did eat some junk last week. It's was challenging to rebound from taking the day off on my birthday and thinking I could eat whatever I wanted. I had thought about it for so long and planned what I wanted out in my head - and much of the food that I thought I was going to have that day didn't work out, so I ended up feeling deprived and like the day didn't live up to what I wanted it to be food wise. Looking back on it now, it seems stupid to have put so much thought and care into food - and seeing as how things I used to really enjoy aren't so enjoyable any more it's something that I want to work on caring less about in the future.

Another thing, I've had Disease Proof Your Child and The Pleasure Trap sitting on my table for weeks now waiting to be read. I finally picked up DPYC yesterday and started to read it. Reading about how all the years I spent eating junk and being so very very overweight have predisposed me to cancers and heart disease (which I knew) really hit home. I feel even more dedicated to sticking to this diet/lifestyle to do anything I can to combat disease in the future. I gotta eat my greens!

5k report

Edit: Official time 39:13!I did it! And I didn't walk! And I wasn't the last to finish!

Where to start...

Last night I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me. I knew I needed to go to sleep but I was just wide awake. I think I tried to go to sleep at about 10:30 but it was at least 1:30 before I actually fell asleep. It wasn't that I was particularly nervous about the race, it was more that I knew how important it was to get a good night's sleep and was trying to hard to fall asleep...

This morning I woke up right when the alarm went off, got up and got dressed in my new technical top and made my smoothie. Hubby wisely advised me to pack a change of clothes for after the race, so I went back upstairs to grab some things and we were off. But I remembered that I didn't have my cell phone. So after going back inside to get it, then we were off.

The weather here this morning was in the mid-70's but humidity was about 90%, making it feel quite a bit warmer than it really was. The forecast was for some scattered showers; but nothing to be worried about. I actually wore my sunglasses most of the way down to the state park where the race was held. As we were pulling in (and I was getting really nervous) it started to sprinkle.

I got out of the car and my boss (she ran the race with me) met us. I put on my socks and sneakers and was freaking out about having enough time to sign in and go to the bathroom before the race. I was fine - we went and I got my number and got to go to the bathroom. All was fine.

By this time the sprinkles had turned into a pretty steady rain. It wasn't torrential downpours or anything but it was enough to get us pretty wet on the walk to the starting line. We waited under some trees until the race people told us to go line up and we were just standing there and "CRACK!" it was time to go...

My boss (L) is an avid runner, and is much faster than me. She told me that she'd let me set the pace; so I took off at what felt good to me. I know I was faster than I should have been but the whole thing kind of goes to your head at the beginning of the race.

For most of the first mile it was raining, but you could tell it was letting up. by the time we got to the first mile marker it had stopped raining completely and the sun was peeking out of the clouds. It was getting hot and steamy - fun! We passed a guy with a bullhorn who told us that we were just after 11:00 at that point. Pretty good for me, I was happy with that. I knew it probably wouldn't last but I was feeling good.

Mile 2 - lots of hills, and also a section of unpaved gravely stuff and a big hill... I was starting to feel it by this point and when I saw the big hill I had an intense urge to walk. But i kept going. L and I discussed how the race description had said "Flat and scenic" and how they were right about the scenic but very wrong about the flat part.

Mile 3 - we finish the gravel point and get back on some asphalt. There is a brief section of flat and a small hill down. By this time I was really beginning to huff and puff, but I knew I was close to finishing so there was no way I could give up now. 600 yards is a lot longer than you might think it is. Especially if it begins with another lovely hill.

We leave the asphalt for the last leg of the race and are happy to be out of the sun. We can hear people cheering in the distance and know we're really close. We round a corner for the last leg and can see the finish line. I see Hubby and Cammie, miss smiling for the picture (above, how lovely do I look) and then notice that the clock says 38minutes and some odd seconds. I am desperate to finish, but am happy that I am going to make it under 40:00, and that there are people behind us. We cross the finish line shortly after 39:00.

I was so happy to finish without walking but I was also really feeling it (and I had to pee REALLY badly) I stood at the finish line for long enough for hubby and Cammie to walk over to us and then pretty much took off for the bathroom. I can't even describe how I felt at that point - spent is a pretty good word for it. After going to the bathroom hubby and L and Cammie were waiting for me outside with our lunch tickets - I was feeling really dizzy and things were going all white - I felt like I was going to pass out. We found a place to sit and after a minute or two I felt a lot better.

It was a tough course, and definitely not ideal conditions - but I'm glad I did it and I'm pleased with the results. I'll be working on training for my 4miler in October next!