Thursday, September 27, 2007

knowing thyself

I have good days and I have bad days. A lot of what goes into making a good day for me is being well prepared. This is why even though I really don't like to, I need to spend part of my Sunday in the kitchen preparing food for the upcoming week. I'd much rather spend some of the last precious days of nice weather outside all day, but I can't always do that...

This past Sunday I knowingly rebelled, I knew I had food that would get me through Monday but no further than that and I still decided not to make anything. I came to regret it on Monday when I was faced with even less of a desire to cook but knew I had absolutely nothing to eat.

As I dragged myself through the grocery store I found myself wishing I could just be one of those people who has a beer and some chips and salsa and calls that dinner.

"But," said the little angel on my shoulder, "you know better and you won't do that."

It's true, I do know better and I am getting better all the time with not pushing aside healthy food for fast and easy (and bad for me) junk. I feel like my knowledge of what eating for nutritional excellence is has instilled within me a little bit of a failsafe, when I want to eat a doughnut I start thinking about all of the refined junk and saturated fats and how bad it all is for me and I don't want it anymore because I really do know better.

I've also realized lately that when I do have an off-plan meal I am satisfied with eating much less than I used to. And it's not forced, it's definitely a more intuitive thing. I think that this is a benefit of having so much to lose and it taking time; I am evolving into these things and not forcing myself. I think that because of this it will help me out quite a bit when I finally get to my goal weight and have to start maintaining it.