running update

Confession: I didn't work out last night. I know I said I was going to but I got home and just wanted to sit on the couch and hug my doggie. I'm not proud of it, but it's pretty much how I've been feeling lately.

I've decided to hold off on my 10k training for now. Knowing that I have to do 5 or more miles on the treadmill negatively motivates (de-motivates? I can't think of the correct antonym) me and I end up not working out at all. I can handle 2 or 3 miles but more than that just seems like too much boringess for me. Running outside is just a totally different thing, for one, once you get so far away from home/where you parked you pretty much don't have a choice but to get yourself back there and running is the quickest way to do so, plus there's stuff to look at Cammie can come with me which are both big bonuses.

Working out tonight after work seems so much more manageable now that I am not trying to impose a 5 mile run on myself. I'm still going to run, but for maybe 30 minutes and then hop on our under-used bike for a little bit and then do some abs. It'll be a good workout and I'll be doing lots of stuff that will keep me fit and ready to pick up training for the 10k when the weather gets better and Cammie and I can get outside again.

Winter please go away soon!

happy valentine's day

I'm looking forward to 5 miles on the treadmill tonight!

298th post, an appropriate time to start over

I'm getting to the point where I am getting sick of myself again. I see my face in pictures and think it's looking a bit puffy - this makes me think of how I would look at myself before I started to lose weight and hate that I had a double chin. I am starting to not feel good about my body and not feel good about my clothes. It's not a fun place to be, and I don't want to be here any more.

I need to really commit to the 6 week plan and stick to it for the long haul. I have been too laid back with myself and it's catching up to me both physically and mentally. I don't enjoy feeling bad (and who does), and know exactly what I need to do to stop. So I'm going to.

We got a beautiful KitchenAid stand mixer for ourselves as a Christmas present, and I love it and I love to bake, but it's just not doing me any favors. I need to put the mixer into storage and get it out for special occasions only. No more of this weekly baking stuff.

I need to post daily my food and exercise. Studies show (no, not really) that I lose weight when I'm faithful about blogging, so it's got to start happening again.

I'm NOT going to be one of those people who starts out really strongly and then fizzles out and then slides into the "used to blog" black hole of failure. I'm going to reach my goals, and I'm going to show that anyone can do it - no matter how long it takes or what roadblocks come up. I've done a disservice to myself for letting the holidays and the weather give me an excuse, and the reality is that there are so many things that I want to look good for and so many reasons why I want to feel good and there are so many things I want to be able to do or do better that I just can't screw around anymore.

It's going to be tough, and it's not going to be fun. But it's not going to be the worst thing in the world either. There is delicious food that I can eat, and it makes me feel so much better than I do right now. I'm not sentencing myself to a life of misery, I'm doing the exact opposite.

Positive Changes

An exciting new series!Where I report on small positive changes I'm making to live better, be healthier and happier.

- I started wearing my glasses (almost) all the time. My perscription isn't very strong but it's amazing how much more clear and crisp everything is with them on. Plus, I think they look really good with my new haircut.

- Straightening up the kitchen daily. It's so much easier to deal with just a few minutes every day than having a humongous disaster that I have to chip away at for the better part of a weekend day.

- Cooking a lot and freezing it for multiple weeks worth of lunches. VEST has sparked an interest in cooking, and these days I want to be in the kitchen much more than I used to be, but it's good to be stocked up for weeks where I may not test something, or if what I test doesn't turn out.

- Cutting way down on the plastic and being mindful of the packaging that we bring into the house. A friend reminded me recently about all of the garbage that floats around in the ocean and converges into these massive floating garbage dumps the size of a state (I forget which one). This thought and it's impact on wildlife as well as the rest of our environment really pisses me off and makes me sad. So I finally have one of those reusable shopping bags which I am using for my groceries and also to bring stuff to and from work in. It's a small step.

- Running every day (except Saturdays). I'm working on a training schedule from runner's world to prepare for a 10k in April which will segue into training for the Utica Boilermaker (9 miler) this July. On days that aren't scheduled running days I'm making myself get out there and run even a short distance.

Salad with Falafel Spiced Walnuts, Red Onion and Balsamic Vinegar.

Although my overall behavior has been far from perfect lately, I am noticing that my behavior is changing. One of the changes that is most interesting to me is that I don't eat as much as I used to.

Before making the decision to finally lose weight, I would come home from work hungry and snack and then eat dinner or even eat two dinners. These days if I choose to snack after work I usually don't then proceed to eat dinner. I'm finding that I don't need to force myself to eat less, it just happens. I think that is pretty cool.

There is a lot about my life now that I never thought I would have or be able to do. I never thought that I would look at myself in the mirror or in a picture and not feel ashamed about what I see. Even though I don't have doubts about my ability to meet my goals, I am still a little amazed that I can now buy clothes in the "normal" section of the stores.

Probably my favorite change is the fact that I can run. For a long time I thought it would be cool to be a runner, and envied those who do. I can remember less than a year ago thinking that I would be happy if I could run the entire length of Cammie and my standard walking route around the neighborhood, which is less than a mile and a half - well I can now run twice that easily, and am improving all the time. It's a great thing.

It feels good to feel good about yourself!

I haven't quit!

Hi, sorry to have been gone for so long. Winters are a tough time for me. The cold makes it really tough to want to be outside and all the dark makes it tough to get up in the mornings.

BUT I am working on it! This week I have either run or taken Cammie for a walk every day, and it's a trend that I plan to continue. I am getting back into the trend of better eating as well, and even made the delicious soup that you can see above, which you can read more about soon on the VEST Blog.

More soon!