quick and random

Thursday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (Spinach, Mandarin Oranges, 1/2 banana, strawberries, flax, water)
Lunch: 1/2 blueberry bagel, curried split pea soup with greens
Exercise: Will Run - speedwork
Dinner: Will eat Salad (lettuce, red onion, walnuts, balsamic, bleu cheese), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 8ish - eggplant-ish

I weighed the bleu cheese that I put on my salad last night, it was just barely 1/2 oz. I really don't feel bad about it - at least diet wise...

I had a really good run last night, 50 minutes with no walking! Running with my ipod shuffle has made a big difference. I am looking forward to tonight's run too - it's been a stressful day!

Today's weight: 197.8 (I think, it may have been 197.6 but I can't remember for sure and I'm all for under estimating).

Hi.

So, I haven't been as bad as my absence would indicate. I have been trying to be good (usually breakfast and lunch are ok) but then lose my momentum for dinner. This morning I was at 199.6, so while I am up I'm not up too much, and a lot of it is due to salt. So I'm confident that I can get back into new weight loss territory soon.

And I feel myself coming out of my funk. I decided that even though it's not the best thing to do for a variety of reasons, I am going to put a little bit of the bleu cheese on my salads. If it's what gets me excited about eating the salad for dinner instead of real bona fide junk; it's what I'm going to do for the time being.

I haven't felt like I have anything to say lately, but I will make a better effort to post more often. I know that when I am better about posting I am better about everything I need to do to lose weight, and I really want to get my s%*t back together.

things to work through

I'm struggling.

This happens to me after I meet a milestone for some reason and I don't really know why, I have a hard time (to say the least) maintaining my momentum and end up floundering for a while until I get sick of it and get a renewed sense of motivation and get back on track.

I'm sick of the cycle. It took me 3 months to lose the first 50 pounds and then a year to lose the second 50. I don't really want it to take me another year to lose another 50. I know that as I continue to lose weight the weight loss will slow; but I'd rather it slow and still be working on it instead of it not going anywhere because I can't stick to the plan.

I'm in a sick of salad mode. Well, actually I would eat salad if I could have my favorite romaine/red onion/walnut/blue cheese/balsamic combo - but I know how bad cheese is for me and the salad just isn't the same without it. Is it ok to have just a little bit of the blue cheese with my salad if it's helping me get my greens in? I just don't know. Part of me says that a small amount of the cheese is ok if it means that my diet otherwise is on point, but the other part of me doesn't want the cheese. I know there are other salad combos, but nothing is getting me excited about eating my salads and I end up finding a way to avoid them - which is not good.

The holidays are starting - there are lots and lots of food-related events and celebrations happening now and they'll continue into December. I don't want to put my weight loss on hold this year like I ended up doing last year. I want to keep going and find myself in January weighing less than I do now. I'm not sure how to strike the balance between staying faithful to my weight loss goals and not feeling like I am depriving or ostracizing myself.

I read the first couple of pages of the Pleasure Trap yesterday (finally) hopefully it'll be just what I need as the season of eating begins.

And on a positive note - the jeans I just got 2 weeks ago are too big, I should have gotten a smaller size but it didn't even occur to me to try on a smaller size while we were at the store. I wear them now and I need to wear a belt with them, which is slightly frustrating but definitely cool.

Race Report: Scarecrow 5k 10-6-07

It's Friday night, and I'm trying to go to sleep. I keep on thinking about the race and my heart thumps in my chest with excitement and I resort to drawing numbers in my mind to calm down. I have a much easier time falling asleep tonight than I did before the Glen Iris.

Saturday morning I get out of bed at 7:15, let Cammie out and make my smoothie. I've had breakfast and have left for the race by 8:00. I still feel that just-woke-up queasiness in my stomach and look at the sunny, foggy/hazy morning and feel just the slightest bit of trepidation about the race. But I brush it away and enjoy the beautiful morning as I drive to the race.

I turn down main street toward the race location and see tons of runners jogging around... did I miss the start of the race? No, the race starts at 9:00 and it's 8:30. I'll be fine. Woah, that guy just ran across the street in front of my car! Crazy runner!

I find a too good to be true parking spot and head over to the registration area. There are a lot of people here. I find the bathrooms, get my timing chip and walk around and stretch and just generally wait for the race to start.

Finally, it's time to go. After standing at the starting line for what seems to be an eternity they blow the air horn. I start out at a decent pace and predictably people are passing me, I don't even notice if I am passing other people, I'm just concentrating on keeping going and on my pace.

We turn the first corner, and I think about how cool it is to be running on these closed off roads in the town that I grew up in. There is a slight hill down and then another slight hill up as we turn the corner to cross the bridge over the canal. We head down along the canal and I can hear the guy with the bullhorn giving splits for the first mile... 8:32! 8:35! I can't see him so I know he's probably a little ways off from where I am, but I'm feeling good about my pace.

I finally get to the one mile point slightly after 11:00, which is consistent with my one mile time in the Glen Iris and also on Thursday night when Cammie and I were out for a normal run. I feel good about my time and am confident that I will be able to beat my personal goal of beating my time from the Glen Iris.

And then it got hot. There was no shade and the sun was beating down on us. I was happy that I had worn my technical running gear and not anything cotton. I run for a good long time to the turn around and can see all of the people that are ahead of me, but it's ok. I pass a couple of people who have stopped running and just keep going.

Finally, we reach the turn around. I welcome a slight breeze in my face that I didn't feel before and keep going. I pass more people who have stopped running and keep going. Finally I can see the bridge we crossed in the distance and focus on that. I know that once I get to that one I'll be able to see the next bridge which is really close to the finish line.

Before I know it, I'm under the second bridge and I can see the finish line. I feel good and finish much stronger than I did at the Glen Iris. I can't see the time until I am right at the finish line. First I see a 3 and then an 8 and then a 0... WOO HOO I beat my time at the Glen Iris! My official finishing time is 38:08, 1:05 faster than at the Glen Iris, with no walking!

All in all, I'm really glad that I did this 5k. Now I need to focus on increasing my mileage so that I'm ready for that 4.4 mile Turkey Trot!

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie

Tuesday:
Breakfast: Smoothie (spinach, blueberries, strawberries, 1/2 banana, flax, and water)
Lunch: Everything Soup
Exercise:(planned) 35 minute run, short flexibility workout with Yourself!Fitness
Dinner:(planned) Salad (romaine, balsamic, chickpeas, marinated portobellos, red onion, walnuts), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 brocco-kale

Yesterday while I was posting I had a ton of good ideas that I wanted to write about today; but I didn't make a note of them and now I've forgotten what they were. Nice huh?!

A while back someone requested my Pumpkin Smoothie recipe and I never got around to posting it, so instead of all the stuff I was planning to say yesterday and because it's now officially Fall and October, here it is:

Pumpkin Pie Smoothie
3 small dates
1/2 cup soy milk
1/2 cup plain canned pumpkin (or more)
1/2 banana
cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger (or pumpkin pie spice)
splash vanilla extract
ice cubes (maybe 1 cup)

If you're planning ahead of time, soak the dates in the soymilk overnight. Other than that, toss everything into the blender and blend it up! Change the quantities of items to match your thickness/pumpkinness preference.

5k countown part 2

Monday:
Exercise: Walk with Cammie
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Everything Soup (green split peas, barley, kale, tomatoes, minestrone veggies, spices etc..)
Exercise: Walk with Cammie, Core workout (Yourself!Fitness)
Dinner: Salad (romaine, chickpeas, marinated portobellos, red onion, walnuts, balsamic), raw brownies
Fuhrmometer: 9.5 brocco-kale

First things first: I last week I lost the weight that I gained the week before. Phew! It was really good to get on the scale this morning and see 197. At first when I got below the 200's it felt weird; almost like I was in territory I didn't belong in. But all it took was floating back up there for me to fully realize that it is where I belong and seeing 200 on the scale is NOT a comfort zone at all. Seeing 140 on the scale will be my comfort zone and I need to will actively pursue it.

Today I signed up for my second 5k, it's this Saturday and is in my hometown, so I know the route and am really excited about it. Since I've been training all along I feel very prepared. My run yesterday was 45 minutes with a good deal of hills (and Cammie trying to chase squirrels the entire time) and even though I stopped twice to walk, I think know I could have kept going if I needed to.

I love how knowing that I have a race to run (and now a time that I want to beat) helps me feel super extra committed to eating well. I don't want to have any off plan meals this week because I want to feel as good as I possibly can. Luckily, I did spend part of my day in the kitchen yesterday putting together my smoothie kits, and prepping stuff for my salads. I made my soup last week and froze enough for this week's lunches so I am all set to go!

I need to buy some more running clothes - any recommendations for what I should buy/where I should go? I don't need too much in the way of really cold weather gear because once the snow flies I can't run outside, my neighborhood is not very well plowed and the roads get icy, but I do plan to run outside until it gets snowy and then stick it out on the treadmill for the dark months...