Thursday, July 12, 2007

i think they call it confidence

This is my back side.

I don't in any way feel that it is a flattering picture of me. My pants are a bit on the small side, my hair is a mess, I think I'm standing crooked, I've got weird objects in my hands (a rubber duckie and the dog leash), etc. There really isn't anything good about how I look in this picture at all. Why am I posting it then?

Let me provide a little bit of back story (no pun intended) to show why I'm broadcasting this less than stellar image of myself across the internet for (potentially) anyone and everyone to see:

Remember how Hubby, Cammie and I went to the drive-in this past weekend with some fellow Mini owners? Well people were taking pictures, including one guy and his sister who took a bunch of really great shots of the cars and of the drive from the dinner place to the drive-in. Yesterday the guy who took the pictures posted a link to the pictures from the drive-in and I was looking through them, there were lots of great pictures of my car and the other Minis, some decent pictures with my face in it, an awesome picture of Cammie's little head sticking out from between my Mini and a another one with more Mini's in the background... and so on. Then the picture popped up featuring a full on shot of me from the back.

"Wow, I don't want to crawl into a hole and die." I thought to myself. Like I said, I don't love the picture, but the fact that when I look at it I wasn't (and still am not) filled with shame was something to write about, I even think my legs look kind of decent. A year ago, a picture like this would have mortified me but I'm feeling ok about this one and that really makes me happy.

Even though all last week and last weekend I was seeing friends and family members who were telling me how great I looked, it didn't really do as much for me as not being disgusted by the picture did. I do appreciate the comments from others very much; but sometimes you just have to see things for yourself. My body has changed into something that I'm not terrified of taking out into public, running in public, or even having photographed. That's a form of progress I wasn't anticipating; but am really happy I've discovered!

Exercise: Walk with Cammie, Yourself!Fitness Core workout
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: None (wasn't hungry)
Exercise: Walk with Cammie
Dinner: Veggie Spring Rolls with rice
Fuhrmometer: 7.5 Lentil/Eggplant

Exercise: bike to park, run with Cammie, bike home, stretch
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: Blueberry Almond Muffin