day 59: mantra

Today's Food:
Breakfast: smoothie
Lunch: romaine with green velvet
Dinner: broccoli, lentils

Exercise: 60 minutes treadmill, 15 minutes arms

Sorry that I don't have a good post today... and that yesterday's kind of sucked as well. It's been a stressful week at work and I did go through a mild detox from eating the junk that I did this weekend. However, I had a little bit of an epiphany yesterday as I was watching last week's Project Runway of all things...

There was a shot of one of the thin little nymphets of a designer on the show (Allison? I still don't know all of their names) with her stick thin legs up on the couch or something. Now I know I'll never be ridiculously thin like the waifs on the television; but seeing that image sparked a response... I thought to myself "I want to be skinny."

It was one of those most basic reactions; something you know is internalized deep within you. It's something that I know I need to make into a mantra. Every time I think about wanting to eat something that I really shouldn't I want to think that same thing to myself. I want to have that conditioned response of thinking about food and then visualizing the results that I want to see in my body.

I know that to many this will sound extremely vain. Well to me, I feel like being thin is something that I've never been able to experience. I haven't shopped in "regular people" stores since I was probably in middle school. It's not fun. It doesn't make you feel so good about yourself. I know that as I lose weight my self-confidence will increase and I'll feel better about everything in general. I know that I already feel tremendously better physically than I did before starting ETL. It's just a matter of hanging in there.

So I have a new mantra in my ETL/weight loss adventure. I'm going to try to incorporate spending some time visualizing my desired results every day; and go beyond just a number on the scale or a pants size... really visualize meeting my goals. I think it's going to do me a world of good to be able to stay motivated and be able to resist off-plan food.

In an unrelated story... there were still Doritos in the kitchen yesterday from the evil vending machine guy last week. I almost ate them, BUT then I came to my senses and instead I opened up the bag and dumped them in the trash! Ha! Take that Doritos!