Friday, June 30, 2006

day 20: eat to live vs. live to eat

Today's Food:
Breakfast: Smoothie
Lunch: romaine with green velour
Dinner: mushrooms, spinach, and beans with garlic & herb seasoning and an apple

Exercise: 45 minute walk/jog on the treadmill, arms & abs training

So today I've really been thinking about Eating to Live and not Living to Eat. I think that Dr. F means that you should be eating food to enhance your health, longevity and quality of life. Which I agree is important. I certainly don't want to have heart disease, diabetes, or high cholesterol. BUT, I've been overweight since I can remember. I can't explain how long I've wished for something that would help me obtain a "normal" figure, so that I can be active and enjoy all of the things that a thin person enjoys. I hate having to think about my weight all of the time and wondering if I'm going to "fit."

For me, Dr. F's plan is my wish come true. While it hasn't been fun for the past few weeks; I've definitely seen results. I know that if I can make it a habit and if I can make exercise a habit I can make my goal. I know that this will work.

Despite this, I've been struggling with missing "regular" food. I think far too much about when I'm going to permit myself to have an off plan meal, or how when I reach my goal I can have (in limited quantities) some of the food that I really like. I'm still obsessing about food. As Jamie and I mutually agreed, it's just food. I have not been eating to live; I have been living to eat.

I don't want to live to eat. I want to live to run. I want to live to kayak. I want to live to whitewater raft! I want to live to shop. I want to live to swim. I want to live to travel. I want to live to enjoy going out with my husband and my friends. I want to live to feel good about myself.

One of my major goals is to really internalize the idea of eating to live. Food is necessary for life and health. It is not necessary for comfort, companionship, or pleasure. It's just food. There's no reason to obsess about it. If I eat food that tastes really good that's a bonus, but I'm not going to make it the focus of my life anymore.