Thursday, April 19, 2007

crazy week

This week has been all over the place.

Monday I had a good breakfast and then tried the new stuff I made this weekend for lunch - not really awesome - and then I got the worst headache. And this was the day where it was gray and dreary outside so I just felt sleepy and lethargic in general... but anyway, I figured the headache was detox from not eating well over the weekend and that I could deal with it and I would feel better when I got to eat dinner. I went home and had my salad with beans on it for dinner along with pita bread and *ahem* pizza crusts, and the result was horrible headache getting worse compounded by nausea. Good times. Monday ended with a trip to worship the porcelain goddess and passing out at 9:30.

Tuesday I woke up and still didn't feel well and decided to stay home. I had a great smoothie for breakfast (at 11am) and felt good enough to work out. I wasn't hungry for lunch but had a nice ETL dinner and felt a lot better by the day's end.

Wednesday I got up and worked out and then I got to work and the thought of food was repulsive. I didn't drink my smoothie or eat my soup for lunch. It was the strangest thing - I wasn't hungy at all and didn't feel hungry or sick or anything. After work I went to the grocery store because I was out of lettuce and ended up getting whole grain Goldfish crackers too - and then proceeded to have them for dinner. And then later I had 2 veggie hot dogs and a couple of fries... I had been craving veggie hot dogs for a while and I was also craving ketchup for some reason. Strange. What sucks the most is that I didn't even really want the Goldfish crackers and was looking forward to my salad for dinner and while I was at the store I thought I should put them back but I didn't. If only I had a time machine.

Today I had my smoothie and soup for lunch but I also had a peice of grape pie as dessert. I will have salad with "refried" beans for dinner and am looking forward to it.

My physical and emotional feelings have been all over the place this week and it hasn't been fun. I know that if I were eating more consistently then I would feel better but then I get so frustrated that it is such a struggle for me to eat right. Sometimes I wish that hubby would ETL with me - even if it was just when he's at home. It would be comforting and fortifying to have someone in it with you.

I am getting frustrated and fed up with myself and I am starting to feel more motivated to stick with it a lot more closely. I am really sick of being stuck where I am and need the positive reinforcement of seeing the scale move. I will make it stick this time.